chav

a small little dick head who is about 5 foot tall and most probably got a 1.5 inch penis who dresses in nothing but branded clothes wears too much jewelry who thinks they are 10 men and acts asif they can hammer anyone (even the female chavs act like this but they wear tight pants sometimes jeans).they usually hang around in a big gruop attempting to intimidate anyone and everyone when all you have to do is floor one and they run away like bitches. but be warned they think they are solid when they have around 20 people behind them. however one on one they lose easily do not be afraid they are fucking pussies.

chav-"ere mates u hit me the other night"
person-"no we did not stop trying to pick fights"
chav-"bullshit u n me one on one mates"
person-(punches chav in nose breaks it chav cries and goes off in ambulences.

chav by jake-d February 13, 2008

chav

A small person who has not learnt any life morrals and spends there time walking the street coreners at night pissed on chea cider, they tend to vandalise public property,terrorise old and young pepole and skip school so they can get there 13year old friend pregnat in a drunken stumble and be an absent father, they have liitle or no life goals and use the money supposed to be for those in real finacail pridictiment and spen it on these three main compniants
BOOZE
FAGS
DRUGS
this inferiar race will die out in around 1000yers time when the goverment sends them to the moon and they relises that they used all there oxgen and they dont know how to make any more!!!!!!!!!!!

A chav tryed to mugg me, i punched him in the face and kicked his balls (if he has any) he soon left me alone

chav by hijjj February 13, 2008

Chav

It's simple, when Neanderthals evolved these people quite obviously got left behind, it makes you feel sorry for them.....NOT!

If we had them all killed I expect that several make up shops, Argos and various tracksuit shops would become bankrupt as Chavs account for most of the sales of cheap awful jewellery that sends your neck/wrist/ear green. The upside is that cheap tracksuits would become less popular so shops would have to stock decent clothing that doesn't make you look like a blue tree trunk, YAY for that. As well the sales of foundation would fall and I wouldn't have to walk around town and see umpa lumpa's ever time I feel like going shopping.

A chav is a lot like a piece of litter, no-one wants it around but no-one wants to pick it up, simple. That leads to something else, the countries overall IQ would go up if all chav's moved to mars, because the average chav probably has -1 IQ so yay for intelligence.

I have to admit some do have souls, there are the select few that actually are nice to you IF THEY HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR AGES! otherwise they may be nice to you for various other reasons:
~They want to copy off your school work
~You have money, they don't
~They are alone, no crew members etc.
~They are working in McDonald's and so close to being fired from the only job they have
~You are giving them their benefits.

Chavette:
~Probably pregnant five times by the age of sixteen
~They are more orange than the orange that you peel and eat
~Wearing tracksuits that show what underwear they are wearing (cringe)
~Pushing a buggy/ have a bump or both
~Usually smoking even if they do have a bump.
~Hair scraped back so tight that it gives them an instant face lift.

Chav:
~Somehow he is drinking or smoking (No idea where the money came from)
~Wearing the lamest trainers with white socks that encase the bottom of their tracksuit bottoms
~Have never heard of a job those who have probably were pushed into by their mothers.
~Skinhead or small spikes
~Wearing a burberry cap or something all the time.
~Always seem to have a mate called dave

We should do the country a favour, everyone unite even if you hate each other with a passion and go chav hunting, forget the foxes they have done nothing wrong, chavs have, I have the bruises to prove it...

Chav1: Ere, yu scratter, got a fiver.

Educated person1: What, how can you call me a scratter and no

Chav2: well you wear all that black

Educated person2: *Silent look of irritation*

Chav1: yu Startin mosha

Educated person1: I am not here for a fight, I only want to get something from the shop.

Educated person2: Just let us into the shop please

Chav1: ere Dave help me bash up these moshas.

Starts to shove first educated person and gets a punch in the nose for his troubles and starts to cry like a little girl.

Chav by Darkindulgence July 8, 2009

chav

English word, taking england by storm as more and more common women fall intot he 'chav' category. A chav is a person with the following features:
-Bleached hair
-fake burberry/louis vuitton/ any designer at all that they can pick up at the market.
-usually pregnant before they reach their twentys
-usually smoker

"Omigod....look at that chav." (points to woman with all of the above. lol.) Britney is an american chav.

chav by ellz bellz jellz August 31, 2008

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Chav

Although most people know, some others may not. Chav is actually a four letter abbreviation for "Council House and Violence". This pretty much sums a Chav up as a whole.
Typically Chavs can be found in children's play parks drinking, smoking and generally cluttering up public areas.

Females are known to wear tracksuits with baseball caps usually with labels such as Adidas, Timberland, Reebok and other sport brands. This and also added large hoop earrings, orange skin and over-done make up.

Males are similar with wearing sport brands and are also notoriously known for taking pictures of themselves with their sleeves hoiked up over their shoulders to show how 'ripped' they are, which they are sorely mistaken. They are often seen wearing rather a lot of jewellery and tartan patterned clothing usually beige and brown.

Chavs are also known for their love of violence and acting 'hard'. You will usually find them on The Jeremy Kyle Show talking about how they are not the father of their unborn child(males) or how they did not cheat on their partner with another. Also be wary as some carry knives.

Chavs also seem to be in-capable of typing, talking and even texting in readable/understandable English.

Where do you think Chav culture originated from? They are obviously trying to be like American thugs or something of that sort. Except the thugs in America aren't 5'2", 14 years old, and armed with party poppers, but rather 6'2", mid-20s, and armed with pistols

Chav by jnightwishn July 3, 2011

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chav

Illiterate, badly dressed, unhealthy, unappealing, badly brought up, scum. The lowest species on the planet. Worse than nits and lice. Commonly found on street corners, smoking, picking on people smaller than themselves, causing trouble and ruining our country.

Can be seen on Jeremy Kyle, outside McDonalds, and in the county court on special occasions such as their brother's bail assesment or their prize-giving ceremonies (ASBO allocations).

They have also been known to threaten people into buying them cigarettes or alcohol, whilst their pregnant thirteen year old girlfriends grab your mobile out of your pocket, to sell at a pawn brokers to fund their bling addiction.

Most chavs love mouthing off as if they "blatently" rule the planet, though most of them contradict themselves, for example "I ain't got to get no job and nobody ain't gonna fockin' make me get no job." In this sentence they have badly said that they aren't going to get NO job (ie. they are going to get at least one} and nobody isn't going to make them get no job (nobody will stop me from getting a job).

Ignorance must be bliss...

Most chavs are only like that because they are a little bit thick, so instead of attending school, they choose to skive and smoke etc. instead, therefore becoming influenced by people similar to themselves.

Chambitions...

A chambition (chav + ambition) is usually one of the following:

Chardonnay and Taneesha, 14 years old, in full earshot of everyone in their set 5 science class...

Chardonnay: Oh ma god Taneesha I have blaters got my life well sorted

Taneesha: Whassat den bebs?

Chardonnay: I am sooo gonna get fockin pregnant wiv Johnno baby, cus I am like lovvin him right now

Taneesha: But you'll get well fat and it'll well painful ennet

Chardonnay: No right I've got this totally sorted tho mush! If I smoke 15 a day till then my baby will come out earlier and well smaller! And I fink dat cos I'm only small I can just ave all the weight on my belly ennet.

Taneesha: Will your mum mind? Your mum will be well cross!

Chardonnay: This is THE BEST PART tho dans! Basically I can get a council flat AND drop out of school if I piss my mum off enough! Then me and Johnno can live fo'eva and evaah in our own place thats like totally free because neiva of us works!

Taneesha: You are so cleverr tho Chards!

look at any of the chav scum sidling around Britain in their fake designer clothes, perpendicular caps and Nike Airmax trainers...

chav by shopaholicious April 1, 2008