Stuff that grows on people's balls, heads, arms, legs, and stuff that grows on cats, dogs, your anus, and so on.

A separate creature that happens to live on your head, hard to tame. Ferociously attacking it with scissors, dye or hairproducts may euthanize said beast for a short while but beware of angering it.

the one place even the filthiest pornstars/hookers won't let you cum on

A growing substance found mostly on the head. Hair is largely amino acid based and can come in a veriety of colours e.g. brown, ginger, black or blonde.

One of the oddest things in the universe.

Hair determines your personality. If your hair is brown, you are normal. If your hair is blonde, you are an idiot. If your hair is orange / red, you are an alien and deserve to die.

/sarcasm

Also, some people (Usually females) believe it is necessary to spend literally hours on their hair.

Hair grows everywhere on the human body except the palms of the hands, soles of the feet, eyelids, and lips.

stuff always in the way on your head and other not so polite places.

umm ... its like fur, only worse