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1. Human equivalent of vermin. Fake sportswear, large gold jewellery (bought from argos) and (at least) quadrouple pushchair with females of the 'species'. They use a little known language derived from English slang and American 'gangsta'.Most reproduce by the age of 14, sometimes younger.Chavs are created by their parents through serious neglect or adequate education of any kind. Although the 'species' is so new, their predicted life span is around 40 years, enough time to raise a least 5 broods. They can be found around fast food outlets, shopping malls and other similer places. Their main transport is either a 'modded' shite bucket or a police vehicle of some sort.
I saw a chav a minute ago. Obviously, I shot the bastard
by Notoriousdoc May 28, 2005
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Jan 18 Word of the Day
1. Blue Monday is the most depressing day of the year, calculated by Dr. Cliff Arnall, a researcher at the University of Cardiff's Center for Lifelong Learning.
Factors used to calculate the date included weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, time since failing our New Year's resolutions, low motivation and feeling the need to take action.

In 2005 the date was calculated as January 24th, in 2006 it was January 23rd, and in 2007 it was January 22nd.

2. A song by the hard rock band Orgy from their album Candy Ass.
1. Guy: "Aw man, I feel like absolute shit today."
Friend: "Yeah, same here. I hate Blue Monday."

2. "I wish I could sing Blue Monday to my ex-girlfriend, she's such a bitch."
by L_Roku August 31, 2007
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Stupid annoying arses, need to get a life, think they're superior to the human race, (female and male chavs) shag everything that moves, (male chav) hand always in their pants, (female chav) MUST get pregnant as soon as period starts, regardless of age,
walk with shoulders swinging, obssessed with brand names, play shitty whiny music very piss takingly loudly on buses, hang around Mcdonalds for a meal, talk like twats, look like twats, use cheap deodrant and tell mates "its prada i swear, blud!"
Fuck you, chavs, you killed Britain
by sanadeep July 06, 2007
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3
The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.

Health and Education

Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away.

Chavs are, believe it or not, to be found in education. Again, they tend to subsist in packs and can be seen braying and howling in the classroom, challenging even the most reasonable of requests to shut the hell up and let other people learn things. They tend to leave school before the age of sixteen, however, in order to pursue parenthood or a life of crime.

Transportation

The chavette is rarely seen driving a car. Instead, she is to be found holding up various bus passengers as she attempts to manoeuvre her outsized three-wheeled buggy onto a local bus service. She is usually en route to a supermarket or other place where she can swear at or smack her children publicly (this is the only form of discipline, usually to an extreme, ever displayed by chavs or chavettes towards their children and so it is required by law that it takes place wherever others may be gathered).

The chav can be found spending seemingly endless resources of money adding bodykits and neon striplights to his car (sometimes known as a 'chaviot'): this is normally a pre-1990 Ford Escort with 1100cc engine and XR3i stickers, a near-suicidal Vauxhall Nova (with plastic split-screen effect, or the occasional BMW coated in Hammerite. The real mystery about this is how the vehicle can move under the weight of the stereo system installed (badly) within. A large sticker usually adorns the rear (tinted) windscreen of the vehicle, proclaiming the brand of stereo equipment supposedly fitted inside. Loud, bassy music of indeterminate genre / origin will more often than not be emanating through the very loose tinted side windows.

Language

The typical Chav speaks a language which has yet to be named. It claims to have its roots in English, although this is in some doubt. Most Chav words are mercifully brief, and sentences tend to be punctuated with 'innit' or some sort of expletive. Only chavs can truly understand the language - the rest of us can only guess at the witty repartie and intellectual gems of conversation that may pass between them.
If you see a young male (aged 12-35) dressed like an elderly lady's shopping trolley, you have in all likelihood just witnessed a chav. In this situation, you are permitted by common consensus to find the nearest firearm and descend upon said chav with all force.
by miss December 19, 2004
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4
A sub-human species, often thought to be descended from fish, due to their tiny memories and 'gawping' facial expressions.
The average chav spends most of his time, when not hammered or pretending to be 'hard', drinking, teaching his 4 chidren about the 'honourable' ways of the chav, and generally being a nuisance. It is though there may be a plot to try and take over the world, which would explain their huge breeding, but they will lack sobriety when attacking. If you ever meet a chav, you should take on step towards him and he'll run screaming to his (pregnant) girlfriend.
http://www.picsearch.com/search.cgi?q=chav&cols=5&thumbs=20&t=EOucWresLicaFLFlPL%252B%252Fiw7b%252BgVdv4VYXI5aY%252BDEBD8%253D
by crockett777 March 21, 2009
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A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars
by big cheese October 29, 2003
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One hormonal teenage boy, dressed up in fake Adidas and Argos jewellery with a pregnant girlfriend who turned 12 last week. Typically living in a council house in Croydon, with yobbish mates who like to hang around outside McDonald's and mug old ladies for entertainment.

There you have the epitome of a chav.
by The Aristocratic Rebel August 31, 2008
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