Voting Republican:
:::Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.
:::Saddam was a good
guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good
guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad
guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
:::Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
:::The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
:::A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
:::The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
:::If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
:::A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
long-
time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
:::Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is
socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
:::Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
:::A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is
solid defense policy.
:::
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet.
:::The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
:::Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
:::Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
:::What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
:::Oh, and now you stand up for your republican
Pedophile buddies and instead talk about CLINTON!!