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The Shartmann theory

A theory that states: if a football can be inserted into the asshole past half way, said asshole will create a suction and/or vaccume and ingulf the rest of the football if lubracation is in use
Bro1: Bro, me and jessie tested out the shartmann theory last night
Bro2: broooo how much lube did u guys go through
Bro1: brooooooooo idek like half the tube
by WalkingTalkingStephenHawking December 4, 2015
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Hardening of the sharteries

When the scene of a shart is left unattended over an extended period of time the sharticles, or particles of shart begin to harden due atmospheric exposure.

This results in the shart forming a thin crusty lining in the jocks which although uncomfortable, is sometimes preferable to admitting to having performed the initial shart in the first place.
"I knew I should have changed after that shart. Now I've got hardening of the sharteries."

"Madeline is walking a bit gingerly today, maybe she's got hardening of the sharteries..."
by turdmeister July 13, 2009
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Related Words

Lipsed it, sharted & darted

On a Night out, The process following a hesitant attempt to get a potential partner back to your house or hotel room to engage in a meaningless form of intimacy. After the initial Kiss or Contact with the third party, the feeling of insecurity, self doubt & seemingly low self esteem kicks in instilling panic resulting in a prompt departure from the situation.
"I've just see Nathan pull a bird in Waikiki, but he Lipsed it, sharted & darted"
by Hashtagfatlad July 31, 2017
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Post-Shartum Depression

The depressing feeling one gets after excreting a log the size of a small child.
Joe: Ted are you ok?
Ted: I've been having anxiety attacks since this morning after I dropped a huge duece.
Joe: Man, you better see a doctor. I think you have Post-Shartum Depression.
by rustachio April 25, 2009
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Sharted

accidental pooping when sqeezing a fart out - to shit and fart at the same time.
'aye man - I was waiting on the bus and was dying on a shit- I thought I could squeeze out a sneaky fart - oh man a' pure sharted myself! Stinkin'!
by Tyny January 14, 2009
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shartman

n. 1. one who sharts multiple times; a compulsive sharter
2. one who sharts while attempting to blast a massive fart on someone else
3. one who sharts quite often
n.
Tom: yo bro, jack just sharted in my bed
Steve: why did you even let him in your house?
Tom: why not?
Steve: oh, you don't know, jack's a shartman. he holds the guiness book of world record for most sharts ever and most sharts in an hour. i heard once he even sharted on his balls.
by the original shartman January 11, 2009
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shartmas

When someone has a horrible amount of work where they feel like they have been sharted on during the weeks/ days leading up to Christmas
Professor: You have 3 models and 6 drawings due in 2 weeks, but the week and half will be used to design.

Student: F.... me it must be shartmas
by five percent battery left November 13, 2011
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