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gopher

The upmost hottest girl you ask out but not too hot (not to be confused with a supermodel) who likes you back and is excited to get to know you and have fun on the first date. But throws you a text 3 days before the date explaining she is anxious, going through mental issues, and is not ready to date guys.

She will probably apologize 3 times in one sentence from all the guilt and embarrassment she caused and will then feel bad she broke your heart and probably never will be able to forget what she did and in return become even more emotionally unstable to repeat the cycle of never receiving the confidence to go out on a date.
I asked out a "gopher" to only realized 3 day later she was mentally unstable to handle my awesomeness.
by Nitro Tiger October 3, 2022
mugGet the gophermug.

golden gopher

Verb; to cover a height challenged or little person in succulent soil while they are perspiring profusely and then urinate on them to wash them clean
After a long day at the construction site and pinched for time, Brian sought out a friend to give him a golden gopher, so he could get home before his wife found out about his extra curricular activities
by David Gary David June 19, 2018
mugGet the golden gophermug.

Curious Gopher

Noun: The act of accidentally shitting during sexual intercourse.
OMG Becky! I totally had a curious gopher last night while Ron was driving me to pond town. I'm so embarrassed!
by CheeseMonkey November 7, 2014
mugGet the Curious Gophermug.

Gopher Smash

When a guy smacks a guy or girl in the face with a gopher or a penis.
"Bro beans, would you gopher smash that broad over there?"

"Hell yea bromigo"

"Bro I know"
by pwnmaster101 October 10, 2011
mugGet the Gopher Smashmug.

gophers poking

I ate some food last nite, All the way home I had my {Gophers poking}
I ate some food last nite. All the way. Home my butt hole had a {Gophers poking }
by Thenry January 24, 2017
mugGet the gophers pokingmug.

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