used computer

Someone who has had countless sexual partners and carry’s every virus under the sun.

Carl had his eye on Becky until he found out that she was just a used computer.

by Ned_Baf February 25, 2019

Pregnant computer

A highly annoying or sensitive person, especially a snitch.

Why'd you have to tell on us, you pregnant computer!

by ddd111 March 9, 2020

Quantum Computer

An over-engineered computer capable of solving complex problems if provided proper cooling. Prone to melt downs.

"Yo did you ever get that quantum computer working?"

"Naw, I couldn't find enough air conditioners to keep it from overheation..."

by Building Tomorrow June 30, 2021

Computer Hand

When you are on the computer and the hand you use the mouse with gets cold while your other hand remains warm.

Despite having computer hand, Mansour still was on the computer looking for shoes he will never get

Maha: Sour, why do you have only one glove on?
Sour: I was getting computer hand, so I'm hoping this glove will make it go away. Does it make me look like MJ bro?

by Mansour131 January 14, 2010

computer-palsy

noun.
1. A person that is so bad at using a computer that they actually appear to be severely spastic or mentally retarded.

2. A computer technician that is really horrible at his or her job.

I can't believe Edgar couldn't fix that printer problem for that customer, sometimes I think he has the worst case of computer-palsy.

by Archyis April 16, 2007

Disobedient Computer Syndrome

A pandemic malady afflicting most anyone who uses hardware, software, and an operating system together. Add a network operating system or proprietary Internet connection software, and you have an acute case on your hands.

Abbreviation: DCS

Ever since I installed SP2, this blasted PC exhibits DCS by lipping off, (see lip off}, at me about the stupidest things instead of doing the task I gave it.

by Downstrike September 13, 2004

Computer Jock

Originally coined in 1995 in the small town of Mooresville, NC. A computer jock was someone who exhibited the traits of an old school nerd, but was also active in athletics. In a typical day they could be found acing a test and then being called to the principle's office for sleeping through another class. After school you'd likely find them at practice, whether that was track, cross country, basketball, or football. After practice however they could be found replacing their 9600baud modem with a brand new 14.4k so they could dial into the new BBS in town.

Now-a-days, that same person is likely working in IT, software, or is some kind of engineer. They likely still have computer parts laying around in their closets and can speak fluent nerdian if they run into another nerd. But outside of work you might be surprised when you discover their nerd side. You'd likely find them hiking up a mountain, rock climbing, surfing, running, mountain biking, kayaking, or some other outdoor sport. They can fit in socially and will likely be around other active people. You'll occasionally see them slip up and let the nerd side venture into that portion of their life when they discover someone else in the group is a computer jock as well... the conversation could quickly go from sports to the latest open-source java framework or what makes ruby, or java, or python better than other languages.

You'd never guess it, but that guy is a computer programmer. He used to be a complete nerd, but then he got lasik done and got into triathlons, now he's a computer jock.

by zionvier February 16, 2010