Any seasonal lawn decoration that has been or can be used as a sex doll or sex toy. Can be inflatable or rigid and may or may not be modified to support deviant acts.
My grandma called the police when she saw a drunk college student from down the street defiling her prized inflatable Santa Claus. When the Police arrived, they found him passed out holding a Christmas elf. He had apparently sealed the deal with Donner, Prancer, Rudolph's mouth, and Frosty the Snow Man. When questioned, he claimed that he became addicted to Lawn Pornaments after dropping acid while watching a Family Guy marathon.
by tidycat72 December 8, 2009
Get the Lawn Pornament mug.A beautiful female specimen worth permanently mounting upon your erect penis for all the world to see.
Example 1: Check her out...I would so make her my wood ornament.
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Example 2: (pick up line) Excuse me ma'am, how would you like to be my wood ornament?
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Example 2: (pick up line) Excuse me ma'am, how would you like to be my wood ornament?
by ImperialFleet1 June 22, 2011
Get the Wood Ornament mug.Related Words
pornament • pornamental • pornamented • Lawn Pornament • Pernament • porniment • Pornument • Pornumentary • ornamental • Permament
Pornumentary is the play by play description of an occurring sexual activity between two people (usually inexperienced) who are totally unaware that their sexual activity can be heard by others.
The following is an excerpt from a pornumentary that I overheard between two teens who camped in a tent next to mine over the Memorial Day weekend.
Jasmine: (tee-hee) Can we try it doggy now?
Brody: (feeling oh so lucky) Sure! But you'll have to move that way a bit!
Jasmine Oooch, that hurts when you slip out and it hits between the holes!
Brody: I'm sorry about that, It doesn't feel too good when I hit the "taint" either!
Jasmine: Taint...? Damn, that rock keeps jabbing into my knee!
Jasmine: (tee-hee) Can we try it doggy now?
Brody: (feeling oh so lucky) Sure! But you'll have to move that way a bit!
Jasmine Oooch, that hurts when you slip out and it hits between the holes!
Brody: I'm sorry about that, It doesn't feel too good when I hit the "taint" either!
Jasmine: Taint...? Damn, that rock keeps jabbing into my knee!
by Misty Dawn May 27, 2008
Get the Pornumentary mug.by killmeihavenolife November 6, 2009
Get the christmas ornament mug.A comely young woman who would look right at home perched on your penis. Used as a decoration for your wang.
by Silence March 26, 2003
Get the dick ornament mug.Being so completely shacked that your eyes look like a freshly polished pair of red Christmas ornaments. Can be easily remedied with a heavy dose of Visine.
by Lenwah August 20, 2011
Get the Ornament Eyes mug.1. A friend, who after leaving the bar, volunteers to ensure that your hood doesn't fly up and obstruct your vision, by sitting, laying, or otherwise sprawling himself across the hood for the entire ride back to the house.
2. Any unknown organic material, such as flesh, hair, teeth, a human body, or other, which is found stuck to the grill of your vehicle after a hard night of partying.
2. Any unknown organic material, such as flesh, hair, teeth, a human body, or other, which is found stuck to the grill of your vehicle after a hard night of partying.
1. Tony and Robbie forgot the hood was unlatched when they spun out of peewee's bar, so Robbie had to be the Carolina Hood Ornament all the way home after the hood flew up and they were unable to shut it.
2. Ralph was surprised to find a Carolina Hood Ornament on his dad's car on Saturday morning, and had to bury it in the neighbor's backyard before anyone found out.
2. Ralph was surprised to find a Carolina Hood Ornament on his dad's car on Saturday morning, and had to bury it in the neighbor's backyard before anyone found out.
by Whiskey Drinker Me December 1, 2009
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