postmodem depression 

The feeling you get when you haven't had access to the internet (i.e. facebook and twitter) for a long time, like several minutes.

(A family is on vacation)
Mom: Johnny, come to dinner!
Johnny: Fucking not hungry!
Mom (to dad): What the hell is wrong with him?
Dad: He's got postmodem depression; he can't update his facebook status.
Mom: But we have only been here for 15 minutes.

postmodem depression by Lie_Detector_411 June 19, 2010

postmodem bipolar depression 

Unlike the previously mentioned in Urbandictionary 'postmodem depression' which is the feeling you get when you haven't had access to the internet for a long time, like several minutes. Postmodem bipolar depression is the feeling you get when your internet connection keeps going off: when it's up you feel happy and excited; when it's down, you feel sad, lonely and helpless. This can happen several times in a day.

I haven't seen your sister for days: I've heard she's suffering from postmodem bipolar depression.

postmodem bipolar depression by timidmoon November 24, 2010

Postmortem Depression 

Postmortem Depression (PMD) is a form of clinical depression which often affects people, less frequently deer, after becoming what medical experts around the world refer to as "dead."

Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, excessive rotting, anxiety, colonic-maggot infestation, and irritability.

Physicians around the world report increasing rates PMD over the last few decades. In a recent medical double-blind study, results showed that 98% people will die at some point in their life. Out of those, 40% will be diagnosed with PMD, an increase over 27% in 2000, 14% in 1990, and -3% in 2 billion BC.

It is sometimes assumed that PMD is caused by a lack of nutrition (a result of one's digestive system being decomposed) but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a person's (or deer's) hormones during death. On the other hand, hormonal treatment has not helped postmortem depression victims; scientists are still baffled by these findings.

A debunker of the "Hormonal Imbalance Theory," Dr. Isaac Goldbergshtein, of the National Postmortem Depression Research Institute for the Advancement of the Medical Understanding of the Human Mind (more commonly referred to as NPDRIftAotMUotHM), says, "The findings are clear. Injecting a victim of PMD with hormonal injections only results in them being just as dead, if not deadER than they were before. It's just common sense."

Guy 1: "Dude, have you seen Tyrone? For the last 2 weeks since he died after being accidentally shot by a cop 11 times in the face, he just SITS there on the couch, rotting. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he doesn't go out partying, he hasn't even gone to work in 3 days! We should really talk to him..."

Guy 2: "Yeah, he's really suffering from a severe case of Postmortem Depression."

Postmortem Depression by Razgriz117 July 22, 2010

postmodern depression 

The feeling that plagues art students when they realize all the work they have ever done is postmodern and not as awesomely original as they first thought. They may find themselves thinking, "How can I do something that's not postmodern?" Which is sadly the most postmodern move they could make because postmodernism is a critique of previous art movements and or cultural phenomena.

girl 1: aw man I just realized the dress I decorated with smiley faces from those plastic bags I collected is sooo postmodern.

girl 2: Yeah analyzing the facial differences of the smiley faces found of a common place consumer product is pretty postmodern I would say

girl 1: what do I do to not be postmodern then?

girl 2: Sadly there is nothing you can do. But on the bright side at least your not a hipster who is oblivious to how postmodern all their unoriginal art is. Don't get into postmodern depression now cheer up!

girl 1: Postmodernism sucks man but I love it at the same time :(

postmodern depression by dangercat June 25, 2010