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Tortoiseun 

The act of being slow.
You are being extremely tortoiseun!
Urban Dictionary Merch

tortoise position 

A sexual act that is similar to the doggy style, but you cover the receiver with a duvet. When the receiver comes up for air, the giver delivers a blow to the head with a pillow.
I was doing tortoise position with Kosta's mum last night. I think i gave her concussion. She still hasnt come out of her shell

Tortoise wearing jeans 

Relating to the fable of the tortoise and the hare (with jeans).
Bro you're such a tortoise wearing jeans

Tortoise 

Rocks with heads and devilishly smart minds that will one day outsmart humans and superbots and destroy the world
My former pet tortoise just hacked into my computer and is training an army
Tortoise by CallingAllTortoises March 20, 2019
over consumption of alcoholic beverages to the point you fall asleep
There tortoised there gonna be calling in sick to work tomorrow
Tortoised by Tortoised January 11, 2009

tortoise shore 

A cheap alternative to the well known Turtle Beach headsets, the Tortoise Shore is a homemade device used for online video game play. It is made from a pair of headphones being worn on top of your game headset, which can cause significant discomfort.
Pro: Wow kid I heard you coming from a mile away with my $200 Turtle Beach.

Random: Well I can only afford this lousy Tortoise Shore, so I guess I deserved to lose.
tortoise shore by BiirdMan May 30, 2009

Cock Block Tortoise

When someone puts a washing basket on their back to look like a tortoise and performs a cock block by crawling onto a couple's bed whilst they are making intercourse
"i got completely undressed, put on a washing basket and cock block tortoised onto nat's bed who was shagging zach"
Cock Block Tortoise by jabbott August 22, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary
A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.
Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026
Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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