Tortoised

over consumption of alcoholic beverages to the point you fall asleep

There tortoised there gonna be calling in sick to work tomorrow

Tortoised by Tortoised January 11, 2009

tortoise position 

A sexual act that is similar to the doggy style, but you cover the receiver with a duvet. When the receiver comes up for air, the giver delivers a blow to the head with a pillow.

I was doing tortoise position with Kosta's mum last night. I think i gave her concussion. She still hasnt come out of her shell

tortoise position by Mother Lovers May 26, 2017

Tortoise wearing jeans 

Relating to the fable of the tortoise and the hare (with jeans).

Bro you're such a tortoise wearing jeans

Tortoise wearing jeans by silurianconviction March 10, 2022

Tortoise 

Rocks with heads and devilishly smart minds that will one day outsmart humans and superbots and destroy the world

My former pet tortoise just hacked into my computer and is training an army

Tortoise by CallingAllTortoises March 20, 2019

tortoise shore 

A cheap alternative to the well known Turtle Beach headsets, the Tortoise Shore is a homemade device used for online video game play. It is made from a pair of headphones being worn on top of your game headset, which can cause significant discomfort.

Pro: Wow kid I heard you coming from a mile away with my $200 Turtle Beach.

Random: Well I can only afford this lousy Tortoise Shore, so I guess I deserved to lose.

tortoise shore by BiirdMan May 30, 2009

Cock Block Tortoise

When someone puts a washing basket on their back to look like a tortoise and performs a cock block by crawling onto a couple's bed whilst they are making intercourse

"i got completely undressed, put on a washing basket and cock block tortoised onto nat's bed who was shagging zach"

Cock Block Tortoise by jabbott August 22, 2011

torqoise 

The evil twin of the color turquoise. Not as bright, not as pretty, doesn't call when it says it will, spits at you if you get too close.

Torqoise will never be my favorite color.

torqoise by sullyplease January 8, 2009