simpitis
Ye has contracted simpitis
simpitis by I am the ultimate retard August 24, 2020
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Melon Simpitis
Melon Simpitis is defined as a psychological disorder, that is in every male, but sometimes controlled by some, that plagues all males, whenever a girl approaches, they become extreme simps. This happens and is not limited to Discord, IG, Snapchat, Facebook, or even real life.
Kind of like veelas from Harry Potter, or Sirens from Greek Mythology, but this is very real.
Symptoms (Hah, simptoms):
- People suddenly act polite, offer to send money/buy things for her
- They want to marry her (using the MarriageBot in Discord)
- They want to write about her 'bodily functions' :/ -- These are literal symptoms, not exaggerations
- They want to change their profile to match hers
- They want to charm her and show her that they have good jokes
- They defend her whenever she is even slightly thrown a joke at.
- They wanna be her slave
- They want her. -- This is the last simp stage. At this point the people are dangerous. People like Alinity or Pokimane have such men (they gladly profit from them too)
A Coincidence?
40% of all Melons have cat profile pictures.
Kind of like veelas from Harry Potter, or Sirens from Greek Mythology, but this is very real.
Symptoms (Hah, simptoms):
- People suddenly act polite, offer to send money/buy things for her
- They want to marry her (using the MarriageBot in Discord)
- They want to write about her 'bodily functions' :/ -- These are literal symptoms, not exaggerations
- They want to change their profile to match hers
- They want to charm her and show her that they have good jokes
- They defend her whenever she is even slightly thrown a joke at.
- They wanna be her slave
- They want her. -- This is the last simp stage. At this point the people are dangerous. People like Alinity or Pokimane have such men (they gladly profit from them too)
A Coincidence?
40% of all Melons have cat profile pictures.
A Random Melon: Hi
Felix: Heyyy, how's it going?
Melon: Great, how about you?
Belarus: Omg i wanna write about your period, yes.
Melon: what the fuck, no i don't want yo--
Felix: omg yesssssssssssss
Nikolai: I wanna be you, send pfp link
Kass: Check out my Hoxha bunkers 😏
Melon: Guys stop pls this is weird
Skrab: Yeah guys! She doesn't like it! She only likes it from me
Melon: DUDE. I DON-
Matias: I wanna be your slave
All aforementioned people: I'll buy you nitro if you marry me
Melon's Husband: Wtf? Immoral, how dare you all? Where are your ethics?
Melon: I wanna die. I hate Melon Simpitis.
Spoop: I made a fanfic of you.
Felix: Heyyy, how's it going?
Melon: Great, how about you?
Belarus: Omg i wanna write about your period, yes.
Melon: what the fuck, no i don't want yo--
Felix: omg yesssssssssssss
Nikolai: I wanna be you, send pfp link
Kass: Check out my Hoxha bunkers 😏
Melon: Guys stop pls this is weird
Skrab: Yeah guys! She doesn't like it! She only likes it from me
Melon: DUDE. I DON-
Matias: I wanna be your slave
All aforementioned people: I'll buy you nitro if you marry me
Melon's Husband: Wtf? Immoral, how dare you all? Where are your ethics?
Melon: I wanna die. I hate Melon Simpitis.
Spoop: I made a fanfic of you.
Melon Simpitis by Paki, Gen. of Pakistan November 7, 2020
Related Words
simpitism
Simpitism is the force of someone simping so hard that they soon envelope everyone that they care about into a storm of "I love her!!" and "We are perfect for each other!" The person who is having the simpitism soon either decides to quit simping or they simp harder.
Guy1: Bro, Humphrey's simpitism almost got him arrested last night!
Guy2: Humphrey needs to stop simping!
Guy2: Humphrey needs to stop simping!
simpitism by TheGarfunkle March 21, 2020
Toe Rag
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026
Eternity leave
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
jody
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.