Yopmail User's definitions

Cop

Latin for "donut fetishist."

Mentions of donut restaurants are telltale signs that the dude you're talking to is actually an undercover cop who's ready to molest you.

by Yopmail User December 24, 2022

Avatar: The Way of Water

-This shit happens more than ten years after the fucking prequel.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.

-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.

Avatar: The Way of Water sucks ass. Read these spoilers instead.

by Yopmail User December 18, 2022

your dick

No woman in a thousand-mile radius would ever want to suck it.

You'd have to be dumber than Joe Biden to look this shit up on Urban Dictionary. Your dick will remain small either way, dumbass.

by Yopmail User November 24, 2022

Custer's Revenge

A fun, wholesome Atari 2600 game for the whole family. Developed by Mystique in 1982, you control General George Armstrong Custer and dodge a bunch of arrows to score with a Native American woman. If you want to see what your friends do all the time, this is the game for you.

It's time for Custer's Revenge. You're the native. Enjoy penetration.

by Yopmail User November 23, 2022

Garbage

Take a good look in the mirror if you want the definition.

The fact that you've never been visited by even one garbage truck surprises me.

by Yopmail User November 18, 2022

Quizizz

Kahoot for poor people.

If nobody gives Quizizz Inc. a lecture on plagiarism, I'll do it myself!

by Yopmail User November 13, 2022

Thanksgiving

To use your cum, shit, piss, and vomit to stuff a turducken and shove a teen girl's head up said turducken. You must then use scissors to cut her shirt up. Then, you take her pants off, remove her bra and panties, and ready a bottle of Diet Coke and Mentos to shove up her vagina and anus. When you pour Diet Coke and Mentos down her vagina and anus, you must suck her boobs slowly and softly while pissing in her vagina. You're then gonna need to grab a whip (if you haven't already) and command the girl to kneel and dig in while you ride on her back as if she were a horse. When she finishes, pour the leftovers in a blender, pour the mixture in the girl's mouth, and make out with her, in that order. Swallow afterwards.

Don't question the cum, shit, and vomit on the floor and dinner table. I just wished her "a happy Thanksgiving."

by Yopmail User November 12, 2022