A highly intelligent sentient being with a name derived from the agglomeration of all the names of the Gods. Theophilus possesses great physical beauty, and is said to be the inspiration of Adonis.
Unparalleled strength, integrity and acuity, Theophilus is understandably the desire of all women on Earth, and some wayward men.
Crossing Theophilus in any way is unheard of and unsought of. Not only is Theophilus able to atomize anything with his incredibly breath-taking piercing, clear brown eyes, he has Chuck Norris at his personal beck and call.
Riches and power appeal not to this great being, but rather he exists, simply because he does.
Sexual maneuver where two partners are in the 69 position and each has a finger in the other partners anus. Each person tries to push the other's finger out with a fart until either one person wins or one person shits. Which ever comes first.
{Agnes}: Hey William, the tephone's ringing! Can you get that real quick?
{William}: Sure Agnes!
{William answers phone, hears the handset being slammed into the cradle at the other end, slams his own telephone down}
{William}: Must have been a wrong number Agnes; the butt dumpling on the other end just hung up when I answered. Let's get out of here! I need a McShake and some McFries!