teuchi 

The man that runs the ramen store, Ichiraku, in the anime/manga Naruto. He was one of the first to actually be nice to Naruto. Some people theorize that he is actually Tobi, the leader of the Akatsuki.

Person 1: I can't believe that Teuchi, the ramen guy, killed so many innocents!
Person 2: I knew that man didn't look right from the beginning.

teuchi by hoshigayki December 31, 2018

Teuchi 

Official Naruto Wiki

Short Biography
Teuchi is the owner of ichiraku ramen, and has been shown to be nice to Naruto on multiple occasions. He was later revealed to be an uchiha and part of the akatsuki

Abilities
Teuchi can use the mangekyo sharingan, and the 8 Inner gates, he also has many more unknown abilities as said by Kishimoto.

Affiliations
Akatsuki
Hidden Leaf Ninja
Team Jiraya

Teuchi Is The Strongest Naruto Character

Teuchi by ironpenguin333 May 13, 2019

Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.

Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!

Teaching Crabs How To Read by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022

touchin' cotton 

A phrase used to describe that awkward moment when you have to dump so bad that the poop has actually exited your anus and is toucing your tighty whitey Hanes cotton underwear.

Andy: Hey Floyd, you gotta pull over. I have to take a dump.
Floyd: Can't you wait 10 more minutes!! We're almost there.
Andy: No Floyd, I can't wait!! I'm touchin' cotton!!!

touchin' cotton by Twist Weeblow August 26, 2007

Touching tips 

A well-guarded secret greeting amongst men that may only occur in the absence of women. It is performed by pressing the tips of two penises together, head on, forming a straight veiny line. Verbal consent is strongly recommended and eye contact is not advised. Can be used to determine if a male is circumsided without creating an awkward or uncomfortable situation.

"Hello there fine Sir, interested in Touching Tips?"
"Of course, how could one turn down such a reasonable request."
*touches tips together*
"Perfect, but I couldn't help but notice that you're circumcised."
"What a keen and correct observation that you have made."

Touching tips by Fromundo June 20, 2016

tuching 

the act of pretending to be drunk to get with drunk women

Harry must have been tuching last night to hook up with all those girls, I didn't see him drink anything all night.

tuching by tuchman1 June 22, 2009

Traffic Touching 

A game in which you drive up next to another in traffic and touch the side of their car while still driving ahead.

"Oh dude, we'll totally do some traffic touching after work."

Traffic Touching by ImNotNobody February 8, 2015