T Bake 

A burnt scrotum

Damn man, I shouldn't have gone tannin..now I got a nasty ass T Bake!!

T Bake by Kmolsey February 20, 2009

Wouldn't bake them a cake 

When you suspect that two people are a gay couple, but they haven't made it public. Based on the 2018 supreme court decision where a cake artist was legally allowed to refuse service to a gay couple.

I know Fred and John say they're just friends, but I definitely wouldn't bake them a cake.

Wouldn't bake them a cake by yo_ssarian June 12, 2018

You wouldn't bake a cat if it jumped in the oven

Describing a situation in which although you have a great opportunity to do something awful, it does not mean you should do it.

Person 1: "Yeah so hes just standing near the edge, why wouldn't we push him?"

Person 2: "You wouldn't bake a cat if it jumped in the oven!"

You wouldn't bake a cat if it jumped in the oven by Laapwing May 19, 2024

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you 

from the movie Space Jam. Often used by men who are dating women that are no good for them, in circumstances such as Facebook. usually found by the next girlfriend many years later.

(On a guy's facebook page) "I don't want to go to school today I want to stay home and bake cookies with you...(insert skank's name here)".

i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you by nonymoose999 May 20, 2011

t-baker

(adj) 1) A garden gnome or any other small tumor faced creature including dwarves.

(adj) 2) A person who is born with blonde hair and under-developed vocal cords, most likely due to the fact they were born early

(adj) 3) Any of a number of relatives to a small gnome like creature that once lived in a tree outside of the Chili's on Long Island NY

ex) 1)-
Tim- hey man did you hear that?

Jim- yea dude it sounded like a small woodland creature, omg its over there LOOK!

Tim- oh its just a t-baker, not to worry

ex) 2)-
Anthony- kevin you can hear that guy from all the way over here

Kevin- I know man, his raspy voice IS getting kind of anoying

T-Baker- ARG I WAS BORN EARLY

ex) 3)-
T-baker- lets go see Uncle Fugly kids! (knocks on oaken door of tree)

Uncle Fugly- EHH! wtf do ya wwaaannnttt?!

t-baker by Anthony Capri January 25, 2009

I don't give a bakers fuck

Used to express not giving a fuck, but when not giving a fuck doesn't go far enough. A bakers fuck has an inverse relationship to a bakers dozen. Where a bakers dozen includes one extra, a bakers fuck includes one less. Hence, not giving a bakers fuck is giving even less fucks than usual.

The delivery is very important. You must always have a slight pause after the bakers and heavily emphasize the fuck.

Steve: Dude, this new vegan protein shake really hit the spot.

Zach: I don't give a bakers fuck about your vegan protein.

I don't give a bakers fuck by zackgee July 12, 2016

Bakern't's Fallacy 

The Bakern't's Fallacy is a common fallacy where someone tries to assign the same quality to some Cause as to the necessary Result of said Cause when, and only when, said Cause is the only exception to said Result; in other words, when, and only when, said Result is the Result of no Cause also.

Formally: (0=bad->(0->(x->0)->x=bad), where x != 0

Someone: if you hoard all the bread, then we will not have bread!

Baker: you didn't have bread to begin with so you're committing the Bakern't's Fallacy!

Bakern't's Fallacy by Father of Sons December 19, 2019