When someone you like is unavailable. So you search porn till you find an actor/actress that looks similar enough. So when you go to masturbate ,you can squint your eyes and not be able to tell the difference
"She's married ,so I pulled a 1 hand and a stunt man last night and fell asleep"
When you either knowingly or accidentally shake someones hand with a stringy glob of spunk (sperm) attached to your hand.
The globule is then transferred to the person and they wipe it off in confusion. Usually they are too embarrassed to ask what it is but will often sniff it.
Pokey was spun out on cheap bath tub crank and furiously beat off into an oven mitt. He thought he got all of the jizz wiped up when he was done, but a little was left over on his hand.
Pokey then went to his dealer's house to shoot up and unknowingly gave him a spunk handshake.
whilst standing on oneleg, reach under lifted leg with your non-dominant hand, grasping the shaft of the wang with thumb on the underside. commence masterbation at a desired pace.
i was just at this party and i walked in on marco when he was busting the "back handed stink bug", it looked like so much fun that i immediately started too. when we were done, we pashed and wiped our penises on the curtain.