spontaneous combustion 

Getting really mad all of a sudden and doing something regrettable. AKA flying off the handle.

Sometimes I feel this urge for spontaneous combustion, but then I try to think to myself, "how will this fix the situation" and "what if I hurt someone, or do something very regrettable." I try to do something else instead, like take a walk or maybe play some basketball or play Halo.

spontaneous combustion by Adel7 January 1, 2008

Spontaneous Combustion 

When a male, typically going through adolescence, accidentally busts a nut for no reason.

Adam: Did you see what happened to Rick? We were in math and he accidentally cummed in his pants for no reason.
Dan: Shit bro, spontaneous combustion isn't it

Spontaneous Combustion by QueenOfRain April 16, 2019

Spontaneous Combustion 

A totally real medical condition. This condition is found primarily in small children and the elderly.

When one spontaneously combusts, their overall body heat has to exceed 2341 degrees Fahrenheit.

Generally, it is very noticeable when someone combusts. Their hair is immediately singed off, leaving them with a brand new shiny bald head (good riddance, that umbrella cut was UGLY!), and they essentially, burst open. Their organs and guts splat all across the ground, but most of the time their insides were already turned to ash, so you don't have to see their disgusting insides.

It has also been totally medically proven that when one has a large ego, specifically 13-14 year old boys, they are more prone to combustion. In fact, their spontaneous combustion rate is 95% more than small children and the elderly.

Signs of combustion- Dizziness, nausea, inflated ego (for some), excessive masturbation, consumption of oil or white-out, and trying to become a spice king on TikTik, because we know that ain't gonna end well.

And remember--when you see a child about to combust, take it across the room until it is behind some sort of barrier. When an elderly person is about to combust, just run. And finally, when you see a teenage male about to combust, scream and run because you know that this is gonna be intense.

"Hey, bro! Did you see Landen Spontaneously Combust in the gym! It was crazy!"

"Yeah, isn't Spontaneous Combustion a real medical condition?"

"Yeah. I don't miss him, though."

Spontaneous Combustion by Xeni_isbetter November 30, 2023

Preventing Spontaneous Human Combustion

To let one rip
First coined on the hit show:south park

ex:

Man:Dude that was sick it smells like eggs...
Dude:Hey man just preventing spontaneous human combustion here...

Preventing Spontaneous Human Combustion by Fucktarded Scarecrow August 1, 2009

spontaneous human combustion 

to suddenly, and with no apparent reason, burst into flames and within minutes become a human cinder. a.k.a. SHC

defoe was running so fast towards the opponents penalty area that he suddenly suffered an acute spontaneous human combustion

spontaneous human combustion by theWestHamfan November 4, 2003

Spontaneous Guitar Combustion (SGC) 

A rapidly growing phenomena where a guitar in a public place inexplicably ignites, destroying the instrument and often severely injuring the person holding it.

Most theorists agree that it is a karmic occurrence, brought about by the disruption of peace in the universe, by a growth in the crust punk trend, specifically in the American Midwest.

Guitars tend to explode at a high enough temperature to ignite dirty clothing and greasy hair, so it is typical for the person holding to guitar to catch fire as well. Not surprisingly, there has never been an incident recorded where someone has tried to extinguish a victim of SGC, though many have admitted to thanking God after witnessing the miracle.

Researchers have been trying to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between SGC and the Mayan prediction of the 2012 apocalypse. Nostradamus' prediction has already been connected when astronomers discovered a constellation depicting SCG, perfectly situated with the predicted alignment of the planets on the day of the Rapture.

The majority of recorded cases have occurred in coffee shops, to victims who have been described as crust punk, gutter punk, and hippy.

When the crust punk's strumming was brought to an overdue end by Spontaneous Guitar Combustion (SGC), the entire coffee shop applauded.

Spontaneous Guitar Combustion (SGC) by the 1,000wordsmith December 21, 2009

spontaneous human combustion 

The occassion when a human being may spontaneously burst into flame with no external interference. Generally happnes to the aged. Most victims do not survive, and combust when alone. Therefore, there are not many witnessess to spontaneous human combustion, or S.H.C.
However, there have been people who have suffered S.H.C and survived, albiet for only a short while afterwards.

S.H.C does not tend to leave much in the way of bodily remains; most victims leave just the lower leg, a singed hole in the floor, and a pile of greasy ash.
Reasons for this are still only theories, but the extreme heat required to reduce a human body to ash in the space of minutes is intense, and the flames act unaturaly.
In one such case, an elderly doctor spontaneously combusted whilst at home alone. When found, his kneecap and ashes where in the basement, and his foot and slipper left on the lip of the hole on the floor above. His aluminium walker, that should by all means be a puddle of molten metal, was fully intact, including the rubber tips.

S.H.C is not a proven phenomena, and is not a recognized cause of death.

The old doctor apparently died when he spontaneously combusted. Many blamed the phenomena, spontaneous human combustion for his unnatural death.

spontaneous human combustion by Roadie Farla May 22, 2007