18 definitions by Fucktarded Scarecrow

A sudden depression that looms over you when you realise a whole year has passed.

Often the sufferer remembers oppurtunities they let pass in the year, things they put off and friends they lost in the year.

This gloom is contagious so if you think you know someone who has End-Of-Yearitis don't get to close or they will remind you of what went wrong for you in the year.

If your not sure if someone is suffering from End-Of-Yearitis this may help

Symptoms of this include:
-Obvious depression
-Black Marks under eyes from lack of sleep
-General Zombie-like state*
-Lack of New Year cheer
-Reluctance to give gifts (though they could just be being an asshole)

*Like wandering aimlessly around their place of residence, staring into space and being scary lookin'

Time (about 2 months) is only known cure for this disturbing affliction. Though ice cream and sugar in general is known to help sufferer get through it.

This illness can very easily be confused with Suddenly-Dumped-On-Assitis as the symptoms are very similar.
Mark got End-Of-Yearitis and now he's taking it out on me, the bastard
by Fucktarded Scarecrow December 31, 2010
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An amazing substance...Can take all 3 forms of matter(solids,liquids,gases(Tee Hee).Can be classified using this "helpful" guide....

1.The Plain Shit
Quick, easy and clean(well as clean as it could be...).
The dream shit

2.The 2nd Wave

Just as you pull your pants up from the first one you realise, to your dismay, that your not finished.

3.The Ghost Turd
The kind where you fell it come out(can be painful)
and there is shit on the toilet paper, but alas!, the bowl is clean

4.The Ass Master
The type of shit that is so huge in size and so mind numbingly painful to squeeze out in feels like your giving birth to it.Usually is so big you have to break it up into little peices before you flush it down

5.The "Oooo Ahhh..." Shit
The shit that is so huge and impressive you have to ring up your friends who will generally make noises of shock and awe

6.The Gas Cloud Shit
The type of shit that smells so bad anyone that walks within 30 metres of your bathroom goes "Damn!",they may also faint...You will need to attack it disenfectant and air-freshner(10+ cans).You will have to continually attack it until the smell goes away(this may take several days)

7.The Mexican Food Shit
See:anal volcano

8.The Corn Shit
No explanation needed

9.The Rea...
Usually caused by a virus.Comes out all mushy and stuff, you have to wipe about 50 times everytime you go and you have to go about 10 times a day.It is also caused by eating taco bell
which brings us to....

10.The Taco Bell
The El Grande of shit
So excruciating it brings a tear to the eye of even the strongest men.Smells similar to The Gas Cloud.Its comes out in a way similar to toothpaste...Can also be slightly gritty also similar to the....

11. ....Crunken Nights Shit....
Pretty much the same as The Taco Bell.Leaves skid marks in the bottom of the toilet.
Comes in two colours:
1.Oh-No-I-Have-Shit-Marks-On-My-Undies Brown
2.Fuck-My-Head-Hurts-Like-Fuck green
3.Holy-Fuck-It's-Red Red
and in extreme cases....
4.*complete silence* Blue/Purple

12.Cocoa Puff
You squeeze and squeeze, it taunts you, you fight back,control your muscles,it may need vocal assistance...
After you get up you expect to see a lincoln log, but alas!
It's a cocoa puff, it sits there...Taunting you...

13.The Posh Turd
Has no odour.

14.The Hanging Soldier
A shit that sort of just hangs there, if a shake or two doesn't make it come loose use a bit of toilet paper to push it away.

15.Liquidity(The Shampoo Shit)
The kind where it squirts out like shampoo and takes 100 wipes to dry/clean

16.Arse Orchestra
The type of shit where all that comes out is gas, usually loud enough to make everyone in the house giggle.

17.The OMFG-Why-Can't-I-Poop Poop
Similar effect of Arse Orchestra
You just keep pushing and pushing to no avail...identical to the Ghost Turd, except when you wipe there is nothing there

And that is why it is the most amazing substance in the world(I didn't really prove that but IDC)
If you read all of that...You are a fucktard
Btw "The Most Amazing Substance In The World".
by Fucktarded Scarecrow July 31, 2009
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When you fart and a little bit or a whole lot of shit comes out.Can also have some quite humourous results..I will now tell you a story....

Once upon a time me, my cousin and his GF were having Macdonalds.My cousin told me (In hushed whispers) that he needed to fart really bad but didn't want his GF to hear.I told him to try and make it an SBD.Colin (my cousin) made a SBD but at a horrible cost....By the time we left the establishment it was on the floor.......I had to go back and clean it up....It was horrific.......................
The moral of the story is....If this happens to you RUN!!! don't go back and clean it up...............

Here are my helpful (Maybe) catergories.

Cat1:Slight wet sensation...You got off easy...

Cat2:Spreads all over inside of boxers/briefs. If your going commando this could be a problem.

Cat3:Soaks through boxers/briefs and wets inside of pants
.If your going commando this is catergory 4.

Cat4:Has soaked through to the outside of pants and has now left a big brown/green mark on back of them.

Cat5:Runs down leg (Really bad if your wearing socks or god forbid...a skirt! 0.0 ....) ......

Cat6: An explosion (Example of it found in story).
Shart (have to say in example)
by Fucktarded Scarecrow September 15, 2009
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really big floaties in some sort of beverage.
I shall now share a story....
One day in french class we had a french breakfast
.As I sat in french class with my friend bridgette the teacher was serving hot chocolate and croissants, she told us that in france people usually dip croissants into hot cocoa.Me and bridgette tried it the result was quite disturbing.After finishing the croissants the cup was full of big chunks of croissant....Big big soggy chunks of croissant so bridgette said...."ewwwww.....mega floaties"...and mega floaties was born...

Can also result from eating pizza with friends and sharing a big bottle of soft drink.
~mega floaties
by Fucktarded Scarecrow April 1, 2010
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Gin-soaked pedophile

Matt was acting like such a santa the other day my 5 year old nephew started crying when he asked if he wanted to sit on his lap.
by Fucktarded Scarecrow December 31, 2010
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Cum, Spoof whatever you people call it...
Potentail babies usually stopped with a latex implement called a condom
One Hundred Million Smiling Little Ones blinking at me from their latex prison...
by Fucktarded Scarecrow August 1, 2009
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