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Test firing the rape cannon 

to masturbate or jerk your gherkin.
Test firing the rape cannon is recommended by many doctors.

canon-rape 

A word made from canon, meaning original, and the word rape, meaning unwanted force/crime. This term is used when a fan fiction author tries to reconstruct an original work to their liking. This often times makes the author look like a complete nut who has no appreciation for the original creator or storyline. Usually this involves the aid of a mary-sue or gary-stu of some sort. The results normally are irritated readers and scared audiences.
Jesus, since when is Naruto placed in modern times? I mean cars? Seriously. And how can Itachi be roommates with Sakura? It makes no sense! This author has canon-raped Naruto!

Canon Rape 

fanfiction term; a piece of fanfiction that has deviated from the original plot line; used usually for flaming a piece of work that the reader does not like
Canon Rape by Katiyah October 20, 2008

canon rape 

A term used for fan fiction in which aspects of the canon (original universe) are so grossly exaggerated as to be unrecognizable except in name--sometimes offensively so.

This can happen to characters who the author worships or loathes; to a plot/story arc the author wishes to change/"fix"/invalidate; to a shipping (character relationship) that the author favors or disapproves of; or even to the entire canon universe, if the author's philosophy and "sense of life" differs greatly from the creators' sensibility.

Note that calling something "canon rape" does not necessarily mean it's badly written...but since the term is considered pejorative, people tend to associate it with badfic.
Oh god, I just read that new Star Wars story that got posted. The way they demonized Yoda and the Jedi Council, and excused all of Annakin's murders, it was complete canon rape.

Yeah, but it was kinda well written. If the author would just change the names and some of the background stuff, it'd make a pretty good original story.
canon rape by AeonBright July 19, 2011

Rapecannon 

A large, highly destructive weapon or force. Something that basically owns the hell out of anything it goes up against.

Also, something so insanely awesome, it blows everything else away.
"This gun is such a rapecannon, I killed everyone on the map with one shot".

"That band is so rapecannon, I don't know why you would ever listen to anything else".
Rapecannon by SpedEx November 25, 2009