porch monk 

Very religous member of the jigaboo race who follows the teachings of Islam. Can be seen every morning waking up from their 40 water hang over to face west and worship the nearest Cadillac dealership.

Porch Monk: Asamalama nekka ma brotha
Decent Human Being: Fuck you porch monk!!!!

porch monk by munchkinhatro December 31, 2006

Porch Monk'd Out 

Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and sleeping anywhere.

Conan drunk a bottle of vodka and Porch Monk'd Out by the river.

Porch Monk'd Out by jgoldz September 22, 2012

porch monkey 

someone without a job that sits on their porch all day drink'n 40's, and trading food stamps for crack.

your next door neighbor

porch monkey by pickledspork July 23, 2005

Retarded porch monkey 

Used as a roast or to show that someone is so stupid that they belong in the jungle

Man: *holding phone* where is my phone
Woman: in your hand you retarded porch monkey

Retarded porch monkey by Happy! July 10, 2021

porch monkey 

another type of racial slur towards black people.

guy 1:hey look at those porch monkeys over there
guy 2: haha yeah, come and clean my shoes you porch monkey

porch monkey by k0_ November 29, 2018

porch monkey 

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent

hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?

porch monkey by charlie December 9, 2003

Porch Monkey 

1. This refers to a person who dabbles in the Greco-Roman philosophy of stoicism but seems to, choose to lack the maturity or discipline to truly practice it in any serious sense.

Stoicism's origin stepms from the Greek phrase "Stoa Poikile" which translates to "painted porch." "Stoa" meaning porch. Thus they inhabit the porch but have all the seriousness and dedication a monkey would have toward serious philosophy.
2. Porch monkey is also a derogatory term to someone who practices stoic philosophy.
3. Porch monkey is also a highly derogatory term for black person and typically has no bearing on his philisophical outlooks.

Usage note: To avoid being seen as a racist, only use this term to refer to stoics who cannot be mistaken for people of color.

1. "Alexander says he is a stoic, but after seeing his temper tantrum the other day, I'm starting to think he's just a porch monkey."
2. "Lucius is lecturing us all again about how we shouldn't let our emotions control our character. He's such a porch monkey."
3. "Kwame thought Bob was lashing out at him for being a stoic when Bob called him a "porch monkey," but Bob was simply an obnoxious racist. Kwame practiced stoicism however and laughed it off, just making non-stoic Bob angrier.

Porch Monkey by revoLucian1776 February 14, 2023