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Edward Penis Hands

A fumbling, horny fool. Someone who is so desperate to get some ass he makes a fool of himself.
When Tom began talking to Sharah, he acted all Edward penis hands and she never talked to him again.

Penis Handshake 

Most often encountered in an office setting where new introductions or hand shaking is prevalent.

The precursor involves a man who urinates without washing his hands. Shortly thereafter, when this man is in a situation which warrants shaking hands with someone else, the other individual will be on the receiving end of a penis handshake.
Man 1 "I was taking a company dump the other day and I was peeping at other dudes... And this guy comes in, drains his lizard, and then walks right back out."

Man 2 "I'd hate to be the guy on the other end of that penis handshake. Fucking gross"
Penis Handshake by phopey October 5, 2011

penis hand

when one touches their penis and scrotum with their hand and then wipes it on another's face
Brown Starr just gave Betsy penis hand.
penis hand by Walter Jenkins March 2, 2010

hand-penis coordination 

(N) the ability to coordinate your piss from a penis with the use of your hands.
haha, his hand-penis coordination sucks. he aimed for the tree and pissed in your eye.

Second Hand Penis

Just like Second hand smoke, you may be in danger of second hand penis. The act of toching ones shaft, penis, or balls and then shaking hands or touching another person, thus transfering your touch unto them.
Matt goes to the bathroom and fires one off. He then goes to class and shakes hands with Adam. Adam is now a victim of Second Hand Penis, and may now be considered 1/3 gay.

Minion hand penis

When your minion tryna put his middle finger up at you but it looks like a penis with a thick layer of leather around it
Top minion Kevin: is that penis with a thick layer of leather around it
Gru: nah Kev that’s just a minion tryna put his middle finger up at you, kinda looks like a Minion hand penis
Minion hand penis by Lobster shag December 7, 2019