midwipe

when you only wipe half your ass after a big shit; wiping your ass once and leaving poop on your butt afterward; tends to have the person smell like shit because of all the left over shit

you smell like a midwipe!
You have tracks in your underwear, you must have only midwiped.

by runningaddict09 November 20, 2010

Call the Midwife

A BBC period drama series about a group of nurse midwives working in the East End of London in the 1950s and 1960s

I'm chillin out and next thing I know, somebody's screaming in agony in the other room. I walk over to see what's up and I say to my lady friend "Hey! Its that show where somebody's giving birth every 5 minutes" . She says "Yup! I'm watching Call the Midwife again"

by you_say_what_now? March 4, 2016

midwife

A person, usually a woman, who is trained to assist women in childbirth.

I'm so glad that my midwife helped me while I was in labor.

by some crackhead December 30, 2005

mid-wipe crisis

while you are wiping your ass, someone walks on you while you are doing the act

You have massive diaherra and while you are in the middle of wiping your ass. Someone walks in on you while you are wiping and you are shocked they saw that. Which would be your mid-wipe crisis.

by DEG256 October 12, 2009

Mid-wipe

Halfway through taking a shit, one simply wipes their ass with a moist baby wipe in between pushing out turds. This wipe helps minimize the mess and reapplies lubricant for a cleaner poop. When combined with the pre-wipe method you are defecating at maximum cleanliness.

After eating two Chipotle burritos I felt the need to birth a brown monster in the toilet. Two flushes later I quickly realized I wasn’t anywhere close to being finished. I reassessed the situation at hand and with a quick mid-wipe I was back in control on my throne. I pushed out one remaining turd with ease and continued the rest of my day.

by ratpact4life March 13, 2022

The Joys of Midwife Beating

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.

The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

Midwife Crisis

The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis.

by Aaron Gibbs September 11, 2007