masterbatum

when someone offers you a choice between two things and you decline both and decide to masterbate instead

joey:listen man, you can either come with me to the grocery store or go make your own dinner, your choice.

penisface92: fuck you man, im about turn that ultimatum into a masterbatum.

joey:fine asshole, do what you want, youre never gonna get a girlfriend.

by penisface92 September 17, 2011

Masterbathon

a masterbathon is a day that you stay home from school "sick" so you can beat off so many times that you are dry and chaffed and can't walk so the next day you have to stay home and do it all over again

Mike: "Damn jimmy has been out of school all week"
Steve: "I konw he must be having a masterbathon"

by LifeguardSteve April 27, 2004

Management Masterbation

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.

Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

by jayray59 May 6, 2010

masterbatorium

A confined space used for masterbation. A masterbatorium will sometimes have pictures of naked bodies hanging on the walls for visual stimulation. Those little rooms in the porn store that you stick quarters in, those are masterbatoriums. A masterbatorium will generally smell of lotion or crusted semen. You get a feeling of filth when you walk into a masterbatorium.

The guy who lived below me had his room completely wallpapered with centerfolds of Playboy Playmates, this was obviosly a masterbatorium.

by Russ Buss April 8, 2006

masterbate

To masturbate like a master

I masterbated really well yesterday.

by ‮ekil skool ti tahw t'nsi sihT January 12, 2022

violent masterbation

Masterbating in an extreme manner; associated with shaking, yelling, high speed, and possibly pain.

Josh had the greatest money-shots ever, but he died from too much violent masterbation.

by Bigg N October 27, 2006

Masterbaterium

A room build or allocated for the sole purpose of spanking yer love hose, wanking in general or having a wankparty. Usually painted an off yellow colour and containing a sink and towels.

I will be back in a moment Im just going to polish my bishop in the Masterbaterium. Good boy, make sure you use the wanklock on the door.

by DrLoveNuts July 25, 2007