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Judeism is the religion where you worship Jude. To become a Jude, you must become Indian and have a hot mom. To worship Jude, you must become an Indian scammer and tell people their computer has a virus.
Yo dude being part of Judeism is so cool!

People who worship Judeism have a big pp!
Judeism by Jude is cool April 27, 2021
Words you can keep
pint-sized nuggets of wisdom thought up by some guy name Jude or someone that exhibits Jude-like qualities.
"See where the currents take you, but don't lose sight of the shore." is one of my favorite judeisms.
judeism by anonymous June 13, 2023
A stern, yet humorous phrase, insult or general word of wisdom often uttered by Judge Judy on her courtroom TV series of the same name.
List of common Judyisms

1. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

2. Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

3. Dumb ideas come from people who have dumb brains.

4. Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

5. Either you're playing dumb, or it's not an act.

6. They don't keep me here because i'm gorgeous and 5' 10".

7. Your story's a crock of baloney.

8. On your best day, you're not as smart as I am on my worst day when I'm sleeping.

9. "Uh" is not an answer.

10. You speak, I rule, and then you shut up. Do you understand?

11. Are you trying to justify to me the fact that you're an idiot?

12. Aren't you sorry you made a fool of yourself?
The monotheistic religion of the Jews, tracing its origins to Abraham who is venerated as the model for absolute faith, trust, and submission to God. Judaism, Christianity and Islam are known as the Abrahamic traditions or religions, because Abraham is the beginning point for the story of all three traditions. Its spiritual & ethical principles are embodied mostly in the Hebrew Scriptures, the Torah, and the Talmud. It is the faith of the people of Judah and it's the developed faith of the semetic people known as Hebrews or Israelites. It is recognized as the first religious tradition noted for its monotheism and deep commitment to ethical responsibility. The Hebrew tradition did not begin as monotheism. This developed over time. The theme of truth gained by experience through trial is strong in the Jewish tradition. The Jewish tradition is foundational for Christianity and Islam. Each builds on the context of its predecessors and understanding the others helps to understand each.
Fully developed Judaism, Christianity, and Islam share a common view of the human condition and how this is to be remedied. God chooses to take action to call human beings back to a proper relationship, to bring us in harmony with his will, and to restore order to Creation. In general, all three agree this is important, because there is life after death including a judgment, where all will be rewarded or punished according to their merit. Where the three traditions disagree is on the final means of remediation.

Jews believe in one God. They do not accept Jesus as the true messiah and are still waiting for their messiah.
Pronounced Joo-Dee-Izum (as opposed to joo-day-izum), Judaism is the first monotheistic religion still around today, and possibly of all time. Unlike many other religions, Judaism doesnt want you to follow The Torah exactly, and gives room for you to live your own life. There are many different forms of Judaism, but there are 4 very big ones:

The first type of jew is orthodox. These jews follow the book very strictly, such as keeping kosher, wearing kippas and lighting shabbat candles; although they still have room to wear normal clothes and appear as normal people.

Second type: Hasidic. Hasidic jews are like orthodox jews who also wear nice clothes, a hat, and have peyes (The Curly Sideburns) usually when a jew is stereotyped in a movie this is how they appear, two famous hasidic jews are The Hebrew Hammer (fictional), and Matisyahu (a Hasidic Jew who raps in the Jamaican style).

The third type is conservative: These jews follow many jewish rules, but do not always keep kosher and wear yarmulkes (another word for kippah). I used to be conservative, but my "temple" was snobby so we found a new one.

The last type is reform: Reform jews are still jews who practice their religion (or at least I do) but have adjusted to the modern world, such as wearing normal clothes, not ALWAYS keeping kosher, and not lighting sabbath candles. I am reform, and enjoy being so because its like having a comfortable recliner.

Despite common beliefs Jews arent really greedy, but we do loves us some bagels (with shmeer)!
1) I am Jewish, so i make good bagels.
2) Hi, I am an Orthodox Jew, so i have to go light my candles now.
3) Hello, I am a Hasidic Jew, I do not mix meat and dairy and I buy food with (U) on it, or if it says Kosher for Passover.
4) Hey, I am a Conservative Jew sometimes i buy stuff that says its kosher, but i enjoy a cheeseburger every once in a while.
5) Yo, I am a Reform Jew, I dont really check to see if things are kosher, because I just eat things that taste good, although sometimes i keep kosher cause i love my religion; I, too enjoy cheeseburgers every once in a while.

6)Im sorry this definition of Judaism took so long, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, and if you arent Jewish, i hope you enjoy your religion too. :)
judaism by Incinerator1990 April 25, 2006
the first monotheistic religion, basis of two of today's other major religions (Christianity and Islam). The Jewish holy book is the Torah, which is the basis for the Christian Old Testament. Judaism, except in its orthodox form, is probably the most accepting and loosest of the major religions of the Western Hemisphere. Sadly, its followers have been persecuted and ridiculed throughout the ages, and have always been misunderstood by the ignorant.
yes, I am a Jew. and to those of you who have said we are going to hell, remember that there is only one true judge of that, so don't be so arrogant as to put yourself in that position.
Judaism by Shwaggy November 14, 2003
''judaism is a religion''
judaism by sweet jesus May 31, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!
grebo by cactuscat September 15, 2006
Word of the Day on August 24, 2026
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