The mindless, meandering solo or song played by coffee-shop "jazz" acts. Especially referring to the solo bass player, trying to channel Jaco, with his 27 string bass and his $15 homemade CD with his goateed face on the cover, for sale at the counter.
Jane felt dirty with the gratuitous, self-indulgent jazzturbation going on right next to her in the coffee shop.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"