There are several parts to this act, and it evolves over the course of several months. Please, do read on;
1. First, you shit in a large 1-gallon plastic baggy for roughly a week. Be sure to seal this in an even larger baggy, as to keep it from bursting prematurely. A
good diet to get your shit to the right consistency is very spicy Indian
food.
2. Next, you take
said bag and put it under your furnace for about a month. Be sure to check it every once in a while. If you smell bad kung pao, then you know that you've got a mess to clean up.
3. After allowing the plastic to melt with it'
s age and heat exposure, you take this, by now moldy, sack of shit, and sneak up on a friend.
4. You tap this friend on the shoulder. As they turn around, you
slap 'em right in the face with the
sack. Because
said sack is rather old and weak, it will involuntarily explode, covering you and your friend in a hot moldy residue of three months of carefully planned ANGER.
I hit
Joel with an Italian Hot Pocket the other
day. I don'
t think the smell will come off of him until all his skin has peeled off in another, oh, lets say three years.
