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Hebus Erectus

A Jew(Hebrew) who has been contracted by a goy to assemble Christmas gifts that do not come prefabricated. Though the Gentile client, usually an affluent father, has the competency to construct said gifts for his children on Christmas morn, he is often too hung over from the previous night’s eggnog consumption to have the patience and/or focus to follow the complex instructions. This is where the Semite comes into play. Because of the unimportance of the Christian holiday to the Judeo-contractor, he is available, clear-headed, and willing to work for a reasonable price. Well, reasonable according to his people’s standards. I mean, if you wanted to find a Jewish tradesman that didn’t gouge the goyim, you’d have to build a time machine and travel back to Jesus times. Anyway, Adam Carolla coined it on January 4, 2016 on the "Adam Carolla Show."
Crafty Jews Inc. employee: Crafty Jews, let us work while you snooze.

Adam: Hi, I’m Adam Carolla. I saw your ad in the “Rich Whitey Gazette.”

CJ employee: Yes, how may I help you, sir?

Adam: Well I’d like to hire someone to put up a zipline in my backyard for my 9-year-old daughter? Now your Jews, are they mechanically inclined?

CJ employee: Sir, all our guys are Hebus Erectus Certified. We import the finest laborers from Israel.

Adam: That’s good. ‘Cause the last thing I need is one of those domesticated, Woody Allen-type Jews coming over here.

CJ employee: Sir, I can assure you, we would never send a Woody Allen-type Jew where there are prepubescent girls. We will send the most blue-collared, salt of the Earth Jew we can find. Think Bruce Springsteen.

Adam: Well you know, he’s not Jewish. You guys always claim him as one of your own but…uh

CJ employee: Ok, well we’ve got one that looks like Eli Roth.

Adam: Jesus, I want a zipline put up, not my children to be beaten to death with a baseball bat.

CJ employee: Ok, ok. Hmm, well you bring up baseball? We have a guy built like Sandy Koufax, smart as Einstein.

Adam: That’s my guy. Send him over, Christmas morn at 8.

CJ employee: Will do Mr. Carolla. Thank you for choosing us for your Hebus Erectus needs.

Adam: Well you are the Chosen people.

CJ employee: Ha, you sure you’re not a Jew?

Adam: To be honest, I’ve got two Jews here passing me jokes on Post-Its. They’re part of your Hebus Punch-up-us line.

carolla
Hebus Erectus by griffin_t_a April 20, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

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That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
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