A person of color who is interchangeable with another person of color. It was coined by comedian Adam Carolla on his podcast "The Adam Carolla Show" on 9/11/12.
Person A: Oh no, I heard Michael Clarke Duncan kicked the bucket. I wonder who they'll get to play Kingpin in "Daredevil 2."
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
by griffin_t_a September 16, 2012
(from Highfalutin-free) A product or culinary creation’s optimal state of existence that avoids crossing the threshold into being unnecessarily complicated or exotically flavorful as to diminish the maker’s intended experience for the consumer, which is to deliver the expected purpose or sensory stimulation. The term was coined by comedian, Adam Carolla, on “The Adam Carolla Show” podcast(January 23, 2014).
Stewardess(Over PA): On today’s flight, we will be serving a pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza with a side avocado and mango salad tossed in passion fruit vinaigrette OR a turkey sandwich.
(minutes later)
Stewardess: Which would you like, sir?
Adam: Can you tell me about the turkey sandwich?
Stewardess: Sir?
Adam: Well I’d just like to know if it’s falutin-free or if the chef who made it was jacking off, you know, like he did with the pizza.
(minutes later)
Stewardess: Which would you like, sir?
Adam: Can you tell me about the turkey sandwich?
Stewardess: Sir?
Adam: Well I’d just like to know if it’s falutin-free or if the chef who made it was jacking off, you know, like he did with the pizza.
by griffin_t_a January 25, 2014
The time period when a dereliction of duty occurs. Often, an ordinarily prudent member of an organization who normally exercises the level of care generally required for their position, will request that a window of negligence be granted by their superior due to time constraints or logistical complications. The partaker, in essence, is asking for a limited-time exemption from their expected responsibilities or in some cases, after dereliction has already occurred, leniency from their superior in regards to punishment for said subpar job performance that would’ve taken place within the window. The phrase was coined by Matt Fondiler on the 4/19/16 episode of “The Adam Carolla Show.”
INT. BRIDGE OF TITANIC – APRIL 14, 1912 02:40 GMT
(Captain rushes onto the bridge)
Captain: What was that scraping sound I heard while I was in the bathroom?
First mate: Sir, I think we hit an iceberg.
Captain: You think?! Weren’t you at the helm?
First mate: Er…uh…
Captain: Well weren’t you?!!
Second mate: I know where he was Captain.
First mate: You fink!!
Second mate: I may be a fink but at least I’m not some sexual deviant who gets his rocks off watching scrawny, working-class lads plow Rubenesque socialites in the backs of Renault CB Coupe de Villes down in the cargo hold.
First mate: I was merely protecting our passengers’ property.
Second mate: Yeah, then why was your dick in your hand?
Captain: Enough!! This is clearly my fault.
First mate: Now now, Captain.
Captain: No, I should’ve given you a smaller window of negligence while I dropped the Cosby kids off at the pool.
First mate: Cosby?
Captain: He’s a negro rapist in the future who played a beloved pussy doctor on telev---Nevermind that. Ready the lifeboats!
(Captain rushes onto the bridge)
Captain: What was that scraping sound I heard while I was in the bathroom?
First mate: Sir, I think we hit an iceberg.
Captain: You think?! Weren’t you at the helm?
First mate: Er…uh…
Captain: Well weren’t you?!!
Second mate: I know where he was Captain.
First mate: You fink!!
Second mate: I may be a fink but at least I’m not some sexual deviant who gets his rocks off watching scrawny, working-class lads plow Rubenesque socialites in the backs of Renault CB Coupe de Villes down in the cargo hold.
First mate: I was merely protecting our passengers’ property.
Second mate: Yeah, then why was your dick in your hand?
Captain: Enough!! This is clearly my fault.
First mate: Now now, Captain.
Captain: No, I should’ve given you a smaller window of negligence while I dropped the Cosby kids off at the pool.
First mate: Cosby?
Captain: He’s a negro rapist in the future who played a beloved pussy doctor on telev---Nevermind that. Ready the lifeboats!
by griffin_t_a September 24, 2016
A lady of the night who lacks any penetrable orifices(vagina, anus, or mouth) and thus fails to provide any contribution to society. She is essentially just a torso who has outlived her use. Only in rare circumstances does she go on to become a motivational speaker or crusader for women's rights. The term was originally coined by Bryan Bishop on an episode of "The Adam Carolla Show"(5/14/13) during a segment of "Who the F Sells This S?" when the gang talks to a seller of empty liquor bottles. Adam Carolla, a notorious alcoholic, notes how the nature of an empty bottle robs the consumer of the brewers' intended enjoyment, i.e. imbibition/intoxication. Adam then likens it to a prostitute without a vagina. Newsgirl, Alison Rosen, adds the condition of said sex worker lacking any other useful orifices and reduces her to a torso. Sound Effects guy, Bryan Bishop, actually coins the term however.
(Richard Gere, driving a lamborghini, pulls up to a mouthless, torso of a whore resembling Julia Roberts)
Richard: How much for the night?
Julia: (muffled talking)
----You get the idea-----
Cue Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman"
whore-so
Richard: How much for the night?
Julia: (muffled talking)
----You get the idea-----
Cue Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman"
whore-so
by griffin_t_a May 20, 2013
A strong, alcoholic drink that radio host, Adam Carolla, concocts using leftover red wine, preferably Sledgehammer, and Jeremiah Weed’s 90 Proof Cherry Mash Bourbon. Amounts vary, but usually the addition of the Bourbon is an act of desperation meant to prolong the inebriation and therefore constitutes the majority of the mixed drink.
by griffin_t_a February 15, 2011
The member of a hispanic family whose wages supply its livelihood. Coined by Adam Carolla on "The Adam Carolla Show" on September 1, 2015.
Jose: Mujer! Donde esta mi cerveza?
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
by griffin_t_a September 04, 2015
Removing the rope climb from the gym class curriculum rather than shaming the four fat kids who can't climb it. Often used as a metaphor for the pussification of America by comedian Adam Carolla.
Santa Monica could really crack down on the homeless but instead they're just taking the rope down and letting them continue to urinate in our parks.
by griffin_t_a September 11, 2009