griffin_t_a's definitions
A condition where a man reaches the pinnacle of sexual conquest that leaves his penis so insatiable that his only option is a lateral move involving inserting gerbils into his rectum for a thrill. It was coined by Adam Carolla(aided by Alison Rosen) on his podcast, "The Adam Carolla Show" on 9/20/12.
The second that Richard Gere finished blowing his wad in a breathtaking, 27-year-old Cindy Crawford, he had bought himself a one-way ticket to Gerbilville.
by griffin_t_a September 30, 2014
Get the Gerbilville mug.A person of color who is interchangeable with another person of color. It was coined by comedian Adam Carolla on his podcast "The Adam Carolla Show" on 9/11/12.
Person A: Oh no, I heard Michael Clarke Duncan kicked the bucket. I wonder who they'll get to play Kingpin in "Daredevil 2."
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
by griffin_t_a September 17, 2012
Get the blacksimile mug.A strong, alcoholic drink that radio host, Adam Carolla, concocts using leftover red wine, preferably Sledgehammer, and Jeremiah Weed’s 90 Proof Cherry Mash Bourbon. Amounts vary, but usually the addition of the Bourbon is an act of desperation meant to prolong the inebriation and therefore constitutes the majority of the mixed drink.
by griffin_t_a March 2, 2011
Get the mangria mug.A politician, usually of color, who overcame what they claim is an unfair system, mostly through hard work, and now, seeking election/re-election, panders to the underprivileged masses by promising to overthrow said unfair system which, paradoxically, allowed him to rise to power. Coined by Adam Carolla on 11/7/12.
(Slap bass solo accompanied by mouth noises)
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
George: That Obama sure has overcome extreme oppression, adversity, and discrimination to become Leader of the Free World.
Jerry: Well, maybe the fact that a guy from his background has flourished in what so many claim is a rigged system proves it's not so rigged after all.
Elaine: Of course it's still rigged. You don't see a female President.
Jerry: Yeah, well maybe Obama will unrig it for you.
(Kramer enters)
Elaine: Hey Kramer, what do you think? Is Obama an unrigger?
Kramer: (pauses) Look, I just came to borrow some milk.
(Slap Bass Outro)
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
George: That Obama sure has overcome extreme oppression, adversity, and discrimination to become Leader of the Free World.
Jerry: Well, maybe the fact that a guy from his background has flourished in what so many claim is a rigged system proves it's not so rigged after all.
Elaine: Of course it's still rigged. You don't see a female President.
Jerry: Yeah, well maybe Obama will unrig it for you.
(Kramer enters)
Elaine: Hey Kramer, what do you think? Is Obama an unrigger?
Kramer: (pauses) Look, I just came to borrow some milk.
(Slap Bass Outro)
by griffin_t_a November 8, 2012
Get the unrigger mug.An alternative to the traditionally celebrated birthday where the basis of celebration is instead derived from the anniversary of one's greatest lifetime achievement. An individual usually begins to celebrate the event after the age of eighteen since that's generally when they start "making their bones." Naturally, the date of celebration can vary, owing to the fact that new achievements can supersede past ones. For this reason, worthdays later in life pay tribute to very impressive achievements and are therefore more meaningful than their birthday counterpart. The term was coined by Adam Carolla on "The Adam and Dr. Drew Show" on June 8, 2013 with inspiration from Matt "The Porcelain Punisher" Fondiler.
Matt: Happy Birthday Aceman! What are you, 50?
Adam: Nope, 49.
Matt: What an achievement.
Adam: Achievement?!! Winning the 2012 Celebrity Toyota Grand Prix and then coming back the following year and winning it in the Pro Category. That's an achievement. Creating a Podcasting Empire. That's an achievement. Inventing my own signature wine cocktail, Mangria, which did over 2 million in sales last year.
Matt: Achie-(interrupted)
Adam: Achievement! You're goddamn right. But nobody celebrates that.
Matt: Well for what's it worth-(interrupted)
Adam: Worth? Eureka, P.P. You clodhopping commode crusher. You've just given me an idea. Let's celebrate days worthy of celebration. We'll call them worthdays.
Matt: I shall go chisel it into the tablets immediately.
Adam: Oh, Matt, one more thing. I approved your raise. Happy... worthday!
Adam: Nope, 49.
Matt: What an achievement.
Adam: Achievement?!! Winning the 2012 Celebrity Toyota Grand Prix and then coming back the following year and winning it in the Pro Category. That's an achievement. Creating a Podcasting Empire. That's an achievement. Inventing my own signature wine cocktail, Mangria, which did over 2 million in sales last year.
Matt: Achie-(interrupted)
Adam: Achievement! You're goddamn right. But nobody celebrates that.
Matt: Well for what's it worth-(interrupted)
Adam: Worth? Eureka, P.P. You clodhopping commode crusher. You've just given me an idea. Let's celebrate days worthy of celebration. We'll call them worthdays.
Matt: I shall go chisel it into the tablets immediately.
Adam: Oh, Matt, one more thing. I approved your raise. Happy... worthday!
by griffin_t_a May 21, 2014
Get the worthday mug.The member of a hispanic family whose wages supply its livelihood. Coined by Adam Carolla on "The Adam Carolla Show" on September 1, 2015.
Jose: Mujer! Donde esta mi cerveza?
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
by griffin_t_a October 20, 2015
Get the tortillawinner mug.1. A list of commandments brought down from the mountain by comedian Adam Carolla governing correct procedure in the preparation and presentation of all known edibles. He didn't speak to God. No, he had a bad omelette at a Big Bear Lake Ski Resort once. Cheese just draped over the cooked omelette, not even cheddar like he ordered, but Swiss. What is he an animal? He was certainly animalistic in his rage, with nearby large-breasted patrons trying to assure him that cheddar is sometimes white like Swiss cheese. Alas, he was not calmed. But rather than complete his transformation into a feral beast, one last "Hail Mary" neuron fired in his brain that reminded him of what it was to be human. Laws. A code to prevent civilization from collapsing. His revelation to apply rules, standards, and norms to food preparation/presentation changed the fabric of our society from that day forward. Never again would anyone have to endure such inhumane conditions in their culinary experience. Hero.
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
STEWARDESS:
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
by griffin_t_a September 25, 2018
Get the Food Law mug.