griffin_t_a's definitions
A politician, usually of color, who overcame what they claim is an unfair system, mostly through hard work, and now, seeking election/re-election, panders to the underprivileged masses by promising to overthrow said unfair system which, paradoxically, allowed him to rise to power. Coined by Adam Carolla on 11/7/12.
(Slap bass solo accompanied by mouth noises)
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
George: That Obama sure has overcome extreme oppression, adversity, and discrimination to become Leader of the Free World.
Jerry: Well, maybe the fact that a guy from his background has flourished in what so many claim is a rigged system proves it's not so rigged after all.
Elaine: Of course it's still rigged. You don't see a female President.
Jerry: Yeah, well maybe Obama will unrig it for you.
(Kramer enters)
Elaine: Hey Kramer, what do you think? Is Obama an unrigger?
Kramer: (pauses) Look, I just came to borrow some milk.
(Slap Bass Outro)
INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
George: That Obama sure has overcome extreme oppression, adversity, and discrimination to become Leader of the Free World.
Jerry: Well, maybe the fact that a guy from his background has flourished in what so many claim is a rigged system proves it's not so rigged after all.
Elaine: Of course it's still rigged. You don't see a female President.
Jerry: Yeah, well maybe Obama will unrig it for you.
(Kramer enters)
Elaine: Hey Kramer, what do you think? Is Obama an unrigger?
Kramer: (pauses) Look, I just came to borrow some milk.
(Slap Bass Outro)
by griffin_t_a November 8, 2012
Get the unriggermug. A strong, alcoholic drink that radio host, Adam Carolla, concocts using leftover red wine, preferably Sledgehammer, and Jeremiah Weed’s 90 Proof Cherry Mash Bourbon. Amounts vary, but usually the addition of the Bourbon is an act of desperation meant to prolong the inebriation and therefore constitutes the majority of the mixed drink.
by griffin_t_a March 2, 2011
Get the mangriamug. A person of color who is interchangeable with another person of color. It was coined by comedian Adam Carolla on his podcast "The Adam Carolla Show" on 9/11/12.
Person A: Oh no, I heard Michael Clarke Duncan kicked the bucket. I wonder who they'll get to play Kingpin in "Daredevil 2."
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
Person B: Well, let's see. Ving Rhames, Terry Crews, hell, even Jim Brown. All good blacksimiles.
by griffin_t_a September 17, 2012
Get the blacksimilemug. A condition where a man reaches the pinnacle of sexual conquest that leaves his penis so insatiable that his only option is a lateral move involving inserting gerbils into his rectum for a thrill. It was coined by Adam Carolla(aided by Alison Rosen) on his podcast, "The Adam Carolla Show" on 9/20/12.
The second that Richard Gere finished blowing his wad in a breathtaking, 27-year-old Cindy Crawford, he had bought himself a one-way ticket to Gerbilville.
by griffin_t_a September 30, 2014
Get the Gerbilvillemug. A Jew(Hebrew) who has been contracted by a goy to assemble Christmas gifts that do not come prefabricated. Though the Gentile client, usually an affluent father, has the competency to construct said gifts for his children on Christmas morn, he is often too hung over from the previous night’s eggnog consumption to have the patience and/or focus to follow the complex instructions. This is where the Semite comes into play. Because of the unimportance of the Christian holiday to the Judeo-contractor, he is available, clear-headed, and willing to work for a reasonable price. Well, reasonable according to his people’s standards. I mean, if you wanted to find a Jewish tradesman that didn’t gouge the goyim, you’d have to build a time machine and travel back to Jesus times. Anyway, Adam Carolla coined it on January 4, 2016 on the "Adam Carolla Show."
Crafty Jews Inc. employee: Crafty Jews, let us work while you snooze.
Adam: Hi, I’m Adam Carolla. I saw your ad in the “Rich Whitey Gazette.”
CJ employee: Yes, how may I help you, sir?
Adam: Well I’d like to hire someone to put up a zipline in my backyard for my 9-year-old daughter? Now your Jews, are they mechanically inclined?
CJ employee: Sir, all our guys are Hebus Erectus Certified. We import the finest laborers from Israel.
Adam: That’s good. ‘Cause the last thing I need is one of those domesticated, Woody Allen-type Jews coming over here.
CJ employee: Sir, I can assure you, we would never send a Woody Allen-type Jew where there are prepubescent girls. We will send the most blue-collared, salt of the Earth Jew we can find. Think Bruce Springsteen.
Adam: Well you know, he’s not Jewish. You guys always claim him as one of your own but…uh
CJ employee: Ok, well we’ve got one that looks like Eli Roth.
Adam: Jesus, I want a zipline put up, not my children to be beaten to death with a baseball bat.
CJ employee: Ok, ok. Hmm, well you bring up baseball? We have a guy built like Sandy Koufax, smart as Einstein.
Adam: That’s my guy. Send him over, Christmas morn at 8.
CJ employee: Will do Mr. Carolla. Thank you for choosing us for your Hebus Erectus needs.
Adam: Well you are the Chosen people.
CJ employee: Ha, you sure you’re not a Jew?
Adam: To be honest, I’ve got two Jews here passing me jokes on Post-Its. They’re part of your Hebus Punch-up-us line.
carolla
Adam: Hi, I’m Adam Carolla. I saw your ad in the “Rich Whitey Gazette.”
CJ employee: Yes, how may I help you, sir?
Adam: Well I’d like to hire someone to put up a zipline in my backyard for my 9-year-old daughter? Now your Jews, are they mechanically inclined?
CJ employee: Sir, all our guys are Hebus Erectus Certified. We import the finest laborers from Israel.
Adam: That’s good. ‘Cause the last thing I need is one of those domesticated, Woody Allen-type Jews coming over here.
CJ employee: Sir, I can assure you, we would never send a Woody Allen-type Jew where there are prepubescent girls. We will send the most blue-collared, salt of the Earth Jew we can find. Think Bruce Springsteen.
Adam: Well you know, he’s not Jewish. You guys always claim him as one of your own but…uh
CJ employee: Ok, well we’ve got one that looks like Eli Roth.
Adam: Jesus, I want a zipline put up, not my children to be beaten to death with a baseball bat.
CJ employee: Ok, ok. Hmm, well you bring up baseball? We have a guy built like Sandy Koufax, smart as Einstein.
Adam: That’s my guy. Send him over, Christmas morn at 8.
CJ employee: Will do Mr. Carolla. Thank you for choosing us for your Hebus Erectus needs.
Adam: Well you are the Chosen people.
CJ employee: Ha, you sure you’re not a Jew?
Adam: To be honest, I’ve got two Jews here passing me jokes on Post-Its. They’re part of your Hebus Punch-up-us line.
carolla
by griffin_t_a April 20, 2016
Get the Hebus Erectusmug. (from Highfalutin-free) A product or culinary creation’s optimal state of existence that avoids crossing the threshold into being unnecessarily complicated or exotically flavorful as to diminish the maker’s intended experience for the consumer, which is to deliver the expected purpose or sensory stimulation. The term was coined by comedian, Adam Carolla, on “The Adam Carolla Show” podcast(January 23, 2014).
Stewardess(Over PA): On today’s flight, we will be serving a pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza with a side avocado and mango salad tossed in passion fruit vinaigrette OR a turkey sandwich.
(minutes later)
Stewardess: Which would you like, sir?
Adam: Can you tell me about the turkey sandwich?
Stewardess: Sir?
Adam: Well I’d just like to know if it’s falutin-free or if the chef who made it was jacking off, you know, like he did with the pizza.
(minutes later)
Stewardess: Which would you like, sir?
Adam: Can you tell me about the turkey sandwich?
Stewardess: Sir?
Adam: Well I’d just like to know if it’s falutin-free or if the chef who made it was jacking off, you know, like he did with the pizza.
by griffin_t_a January 24, 2014
Get the Falutin-freemug. The member of a hispanic family whose wages supply its livelihood. Coined by Adam Carolla on "The Adam Carolla Show" on September 1, 2015.
Jose: Mujer! Donde esta mi cerveza?
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
Consuela: Que?
Jose: My beer, woman! Didn't you go to the supermercado?
Consuela: Si, si.
Jose: So you bought my Corona?
Consuela: No...no.
Jose: Dammit woman, I bust my chepa down at the plant everyday to put food on this table. And all I ask is for something to wash it down with, maybe get a little borracho while watching ESPN Deportes. Is that too much to ask?
Consuela: No...no. Tu eres el "breadwinner."
Jose: Dammit woma- Oh, you agree with me. Though we're not really much of a "bread" family but point taken. (looks in fridge) Well, at least you got tortillas. I guess that makes me a (chuckles) tortillawinner.
Consuela: No...No. That's incredibly racist.
by griffin_t_a October 20, 2015
Get the tortillawinnermug.