Theory developed by two Shawnee High
School graduates that states the following:
1) Females that attend, or have attended, Greenon High
School will be socially attached to students or alumni of Greenon for the rest of their lives.
2) Females that attend, or have attended, Greenon High
School are physically unable to date male companions that are associated, or have been associated, with
school districts outside of the Greenon
School District (Such actions as "Leading On", "Accidental Flirting", "Cock Teasing", and "Screwing Guys Over" are the resultants of non-Greenon based companionship).
3) Greenon students and alumni naturally form "cliques" in their high
school careers, and then transfer these "cliques" to public universities throughout the state of
Ohio (Exceptions include overweight weed smokers that fail to get decent enough grades to get themselves into a public institution, and thus end up shoveling cow shit at Young's Jersey Dairy until they're
45 years of age).
4) The "above average" looking females (6 out of 10 in a normal society) are looked more as 9 and 10 out of 10 rated individuals in the town of Enon due to the fact that half the female population in Enon is eligible for the "Best in Show" award in the Dairy Cow category at the annual Clark County Fair.
5) If you do not, or have not, attended Greenon High
School, seeking companionship with a "Knight"
will lead to failure (often results in drunken phone calls, sobbing, punching of walls, use of poor judgment, and possible altercations with Greenon students and or alumni).