Goal Keeper

A perpectual and never ending cock blocking. A cat whose job is to try everything to block your chances at getting laid. Someone that blocks vagina that isn't his in the first place.

"Everytime with go out to the club, my Goddamn cousin be acting like a goal keeper!"
"... Hatin' ass niggas be baller blockin', acting like some Goal keepers." -Lil' Wayne

Goal Keeper by Isavage August 25, 2011

got goalkeeper doesn't mean cannot score goal 

Originally coined by unknown person of incredible literary talent, made popular by Anthony, this phrase is an analogy often used to encourage people pursuing someone of the opposite gender which is already attached.

This analogy is based on the empirical evidence of soccer matches with positive goals scored (n > 0), despite the presence of a goalkeeper intending precisely to stop that. Similarly, just because a girl (guy) has a boyfriend (girlfriend), doesn't mean that she (he) is automatically unavailable.

A skilled striker may still be able to score a goal despite the presence of a goalkeeper. Of course, the presence of a goalkeeper does increase the difficulty associated with goal-scoring.

This has led to phrases such as "I can't even score an open goal!" or "wow Kenji can score goal even with so many defenders!"

Note: the definition listed above in no way represents the attitude of the author towards the subject

A: "wow that girl is amazing! too bad she's already with that stud Anthony"

B: "what kind of defeatist attitude is that! don't you know, got goalkeeper doesn't mean cannot score goal!"

A: "alright i'm going for it! watch out Anthony!"

got goalkeeper doesn't mean cannot score goal by jet-x June 8, 2009

goalkeeper 

1. In soccer, or football as some places name the position, the only person that is really truly unique in the 11 players.

goalies are allowed to use hands while inside their own goalie box.

If you read to here, congrats! the people who left might think i am a boring asshole to leave things like this on urban! I am gonna start talking about what the goalie really does.

First of all, the goalie has the most fucked up job on the pitch. He dives, he saves, he leaps, he slides in mud, he cannot make mistakes, he is thought by assholes that don't know soccer as"easy job", and thought by even bigger assholes that know about soccer as "useless". chicks crave the strikers-they evade the goalkeepers.

secondly, no other position has a bigger decisive power than the goalie. if a goalie saves a goalbound shot, it equals as he scores one. why does so many assholes think the goalies are useless?

if you are a professional goalkeeper, great. good news, if you make good saves, you will show in the highlights. bad news, if you concede, the video of you eating shit will be played over and over again.

last, goalies are the backbone of the defence! when the team is fucked, its the goalie that has shit smeared all over his face picking up the ball from inside the goal and screaming:" fucking fight! you motherfucking assholes! lets go out and fuck those motherfucking fucks!!!!"

so! i hope you are a little more interested in goalkeeper!

"STOP THAT FUCKIN BULLSHIT AND PLAY SOME SOCCER!!!!!!!" yells the goalkeeper.

goalkeeper by Carlisle C September 5, 2012

Goalkeeper 

A goalie is someone who saves the ass of their team day in and day out , but gets shit after missing 1 goal

Our Goalkeeper sucks

Goalkeeper by Bryan Salazar April 19, 2018

Location goalkeeper

In project management, the person responsible for keeping ideas and features within the scope of the original project.

Team member: Whilst we are doing this could we also do that?
Location goalkeeper: No, that is beyond the boundaries of the current project and would need to form part of a later project.

Location goalkeeper by Reggie Dawg August 14, 2018

Feeding the Goalkeeper

When a football player shoots the ball straight at the goalkeeper, it is known as feeding the goalkeeper

“Stop feeding the goalkeeper, he’s not hungry!”

“The keeper’s just eaten!”

Feeding the Goalkeeper by Big D 25 January 17, 2018

Musty Goalkeeper 

When you go down on a girl, to be blocked by a stench so unfathomable, you deem that underwear a worthy 'musty goalkeeper'.

Ah man, I went down on this girl the other night, it smelt like she hadn't washed in weeks. I left that musty goalkeeper where it was.

Musty Goalkeeper by Grimslow August 30, 2012