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Functioning alcoholic 

When one can be drunk every night and still be completely function able the next day
Nate went out every night this week and got totally shit faced. He still got to work the next morning at 8... He's a functioning alcoholic

Functioning Retard 

One who is medically diagnosed as "Mentally Retarded" but manages to function at a normal level. While managing at a normal level that said person does things that would make other believe that he is a dumb-ass, dimwhit, or plaind old retard. See George W. Bush
Everything George W. Bush said during his speeches.

Some functioning retards managed to make their way to the top, president Bush did.
Functioning Retard by CoUnMe April 21, 2010

functioning addict 

A person that has an addiction whether it be to alcohol or drugs and still able to maintain a "normal" life.
My boyfriend is a functioning addict. He can drink from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed and still is able to go to work.

functioning crackhead 

A functioning crackhead is somebody that is able to hold down a job and maintain a "normal" lifestyle while on crack, without completely sucumbing they're life to the drug.
Guy 1: For a hype, that dude sure has a decent house and job.

Guy 2: Yeah, thats because he's a functioning crackhead

Functioning member of society 

when someone shows a good example on how to act publicly most people like to honor that kind of person with loads of respect and I mean butt loads
Elsasser: Tobar, what do you think

Tobar: Uh, I think you gotta be fair

Elsasser: See class why can't you be a functioning member of society like Tobar

Functioning crackhead 

A crack head that does drugs and can still go to work, do school work, etc.
My uncle a functioning crackhead because he does crack and going to work.
Functioning crackhead by Breyy March 30, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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