football ear

The phenomenon in which men, while watching football, lose the ability to hear anything not coming from the TV screen.

girl: Hey Tim, That T.O. sure is crazy.
Tim: .....What?....What? Wait...What?

football ear by Eroll September 6, 2005

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Footballers Nipple

A common injury received when playing football. Occurs when the fabric of the shirt rubs against ones chest whilst running, making ones nipples extremely red and very sore. Worse than a kick in the nuts.

''Oh man, I was at 5's last night and my shirt was too baggy. Running about gave me footballers nipple! Had to walk about with plasters on my tits today like Lady Gaga.''

Footballers Nipple by SORETITS January 19, 2013

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Fantasy Footballers

Three hilarious friends named Andy, Mike, and Jason who host the largest fantasy football podcast. They often have terribly bad fantasy football takes, but they make up for it with Andy's corny jokes, Mike's hyena laugh, and Jason's dry sarcasm. If you ever get to visit their studio in person you might see Brooks' $100,000 Rolex or Jason's 100 signed Kerryon Johnson jerseys. Legend has it that their producer Brooks bought the Footballers first 5,000 podcast subscribers for $10 each, but had to get a refund when the fake followers company accidentally charged Brook's card $10 million, which did not affect his net worth in the slightest, although he still wanted it back to buy his new state of the art ballet studio.

Fans of the Fantasy Footballers are known as the Footclan. Footclan members generally overhype every player the Footballers even mention, such as pushing Clyde Edwards-Helaire into the top 5 ADP in his rookie season or refusing to trade Kerryon Johnson for Patrick Mahomes in dynasty. The average Footclan member is bald, overweight, has a beard, and likes country music - in other words, Jason.

Idiot 1: Did you hear the latest episode of the Fantasy Footballers?
Idiot 2: Yeah man! I'm gonna draft Antonio Gibson at the 1.01 now!
Idiot 1: Same dude! Where's the nearest Little Ceasar's? *turns on country music*

Fantasy Footballers by fantasysimp April 8, 2021

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promising footballer

Term used by the police and press to describe a hooligan who lacks any real prospects beyond their criminality

Promising footballer, Wayne Johnson, was jailed for his vicious attack on an innocent person.
Promising footballer, Henry Hicks, died after crashing while evading police on a moped. Drugs found.

promising footballer by JonnTeee October 30, 2019