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Rusty fluegelhorn 

Not to be confused with the rusty trombone or rusty bagpipe, the rusty fluegelhorn is a more esoteric sexual performance which requires coordination and dexterity due to the physical condition of the recipient.

First and most importantly, remove the recipients colostomy bag. Insert fingers or stimulating implement of choice into the anus. The free hand fondles the genitals. The mouth and tongue is then used to provide cunnilingus to the stoma hole for the sexual wind instrument effect.
"Hey Johno, what you up to this weekend?"

"I'm off busking in Barrow-In-Furness on Saturday. Clinging's gone and got himself a stoma so we've upgraded our act from the Rusty Trombone to a Rusty Fluegelhorn. We'll be playing Ibiza classics by the statue on Portland Walk."
Rusty fluegelhorn by Sk!n August 30, 2024

flugelhorn 

A variety of trumpet. Also undeniably the funniest word in existence.
Lemme play some of that flugelhorn!
flugelhorn by purplefeltangel December 28, 2005

Keep it on the Flugelhorn 

A phrase derived from the older phrase "Keep it on the DL". It was discovered in 2009 by scientist Ted Davis after a T9 error suggested flugelhorn instead of DL.
Ted: Hey, I think I caused Jon and Krysta to break up. But keep that on the DL.
Jack: Keep it on the Flugelhorn? OK, My lips are sealed.

Flugelhorn 

1. An embracing act of love whereby the male in the relationship gently and softly visits "her" with his fingers from his perfectly sized hands.
2. A brass instrument resembling a trumpet but with a wider, conical bore. A member of the saxhorn family.
3. A term used "How I met your mother", a popular American comedy, used by Robin to describe when Barney goes too far
"I can't wait to be flugelhorned later" wink wink ;)

"I play the flugelhorn in my local brass band"

Robin: "we've been over this, unless I say 'flugelhorn' you haven't gone too far."
Flugelhorn by ilikecarrots June 10, 2010

flugelhorn 

A trumpet-like instrument which has the same valve combinations and is played in the same way but produces a deeper sound with better tone.
Bob could play the trumpet and the flugelhorn; the flugelhorn sounded better on solos.
flugelhorn by WindWaker68 October 28, 2003

Corroded Flugelhorn

Similar to the Rusty Trombone, but this not-so-distant cousin adds the glory of unwiped "mouthpiece" to the equation.
She thought she was just playing the ol' rusty trombone, but due to Keith's lack of hygiene, it ended up being a corroded flugelhorn.