adj: Having an alcohol to blood ratio so monumentally fucked that one vomits up everything but their stomach lining, intermittent w/ apologies and various exclamations of 'I'm going to die'. One may be deemed 'flotched' if symptoms include insisting to the night manager that they be put on community service, being vulnerable to A+ Facebook hacks, or begging to have one's stomach pumped.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"