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if-else merchant

A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.
This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.
if-else merchant by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025

IF-THEN-ELSE 

Logical deduction and induction indicating cause & consequence
When hotmail is not cool yahoo'll make you drool is a classic example of IF-THEN-ELSE.
IF-THEN-ELSE by Hercolena Oliver December 30, 2008

if it ain't sup'm, its' sup'm else! 

if it isn't something, its' something else!!
words of wisdom from a welder, probably now either retired and/or dead!
if it ain't sup'm, its' sup'm else!!

If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will 

As we live our lives, we study, make friends, hit finals, fall in love, run the table, strive for greatness, and just enjoy life's ride. We may learn many facts in life, but if we can take just one important fact from life it would be:

"If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will!"

There's no saying in life that has more truth to it. You can't argue with this great fact of life hence why it is becoming one of the most famous friggin' sayings in our world today.
Here's what it all boils down to idiots. "If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will" is very simple. If we were to put it on the friggin' scale of simplicity, i'd say it's a 9.872. Just think in your mind If I don't hit that damn final, someone else will. Meaning, If I can't hit that damn final, and i'm relying on my partner to hit the damn final, but their relying on me to hit the damn final, then neither of us is gunna hit the damn final and we're gunna lose the friggin' game. It's that friggin simple morons, ya know.

P.s. The DAMN is a vital part of the famous saying!
An elseif statement.
Used in PHP:

if($a == "1") {
return true;
} elseif($a == "2") {
return false;
}
elseif by Jeff June 22, 2004
ElSeif_CaSe- is a type of casing for identifiers in programming or strings of characters in general. Other examples include camelCase, snake_case, kebab-case, and PascalCase. ElSeif_CaSe- is essentially the haphazard mixture of all case types and may include some patterns not found in any other casing. It also describes the practice of naming variables that have the same meanings with different case patterns in the same codebase, which typically results in confusion for other programmers. It is named after an individual by the pseudonym El Seif, who is also known for capitalizing the common conditional syntax "elseif" as "ElSeif" to mark his presense in the code of any language that is not case sensitive for that keyword, e.g. SQL or PHP. If you find your elseif operators capitalized that way, who knows, maybe ElSeif has worked on your codebase.
A: Hey! Stop putting things in ElSeif case! The code is starting to look ugly!
S: But I like it like that.
ElSeif by John Doseph May 16, 2022
More from Urban Dictionary
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
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