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if-else merchant

A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.
This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.
if-else merchant by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025

IF-THEN-ELSE 

Logical deduction and induction indicating cause & consequence
When hotmail is not cool yahoo'll make you drool is a classic example of IF-THEN-ELSE.
IF-THEN-ELSE by Hercolena Oliver December 30, 2008

if it ain't sup'm, its' sup'm else! 

if it isn't something, its' something else!!
words of wisdom from a welder, probably now either retired and/or dead!
if it ain't sup'm, its' sup'm else!!

If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will 

As we live our lives, we study, make friends, hit finals, fall in love, run the table, strive for greatness, and just enjoy life's ride. We may learn many facts in life, but if we can take just one important fact from life it would be:

"If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will!"

There's no saying in life that has more truth to it. You can't argue with this great fact of life hence why it is becoming one of the most famous friggin' sayings in our world today.
Here's what it all boils down to idiots. "If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will" is very simple. If we were to put it on the friggin' scale of simplicity, i'd say it's a 9.872. Just think in your mind If I don't hit that damn final, someone else will. Meaning, If I can't hit that damn final, and i'm relying on my partner to hit the damn final, but their relying on me to hit the damn final, then neither of us is gunna hit the damn final and we're gunna lose the friggin' game. It's that friggin simple morons, ya know.

P.s. The DAMN is a vital part of the famous saying!
An elseif statement.
Used in PHP:

if($a == "1") {
return true;
} elseif($a == "2") {
return false;
}
elseif by Jeff June 22, 2004
ElSeif_CaSe- is a type of casing for identifiers in programming or strings of characters in general. Other examples include camelCase, snake_case, kebab-case, and PascalCase. ElSeif_CaSe- is essentially the haphazard mixture of all case types and may include some patterns not found in any other casing. It also describes the practice of naming variables that have the same meanings with different case patterns in the same codebase, which typically results in confusion for other programmers. It is named after an individual by the pseudonym El Seif, who is also known for capitalizing the common conditional syntax "elseif" as "ElSeif" to mark his presense in the code of any language that is not case sensitive for that keyword, e.g. SQL or PHP. If you find your elseif operators capitalized that way, who knows, maybe ElSeif has worked on your codebase.
A: Hey! Stop putting things in ElSeif case! The code is starting to look ugly!
S: But I like it like that.
ElSeif by John Doseph May 16, 2022
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
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