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douche-noodle

A rude and irritating person, usually a man, who's douchiness is so offensive it deems it necessary to hit them over the head with a large foam noodle while the noodler yells "Douche! Douche!."

The douche could be trying to engage in unintellectual drunken come-ons attempting to get their noodle (penis) serviced, or simply trying to noodle their way into a group of non-douches.

The only proven remedy to date to deal with douche-noodles is to beat them at their own game by noodling them harder than they were originally trying to noodle you.
Douche-noodle: Heyyyyy. Is that stripes on your jacket? I like stripes. Wow. Hawt Can I spill my drink on you then take you home so you can play with my penis?

Noodler: Douche! Douche! I have a noodle! Don't make me use it! (Waves foam pool noodle wildly in douche's face)

Douche-noodle: Oh shit. I didn't realize I was being a douche-noodle. Sorry. (Noodler hits douche-noodle with noodle until he departs in shame and confusion)
douche-noodle by gin gin san January 15, 2011

Douche-noodle

A cross between a douchebag and a wet noodle
Look at that douche-noodle who cut us off ?? Now they’re driving in front of us like, a granny driving home from Sunday church.
Douche-noodle by Kel82 January 13, 2018

Douche Noodle

The act of having intercourse with a woman who has just douched or is in the process of doucheing, but going limp before getting off. the guy usually still tries desperately to get off, but just ends up making a big mess.
Ralph needed to pork Carol so bad he couldn't wait until she finished doucheing. but he is such a chump he ended up with a douche noodle before he could finish.
Douche Noodle by e-rips September 23, 2003
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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