Crumplets

Tiny bits of hard shit that get stuck on your anus hairs.

Man, those crumplets in your ass are hard to lick out.

by Xymox1 October 28, 2008

crumpet party

The female equivalent to a lemon party, this occurs when more than two elderly women get together to butter each other's crumpets. Not to be confused with mah dong night, during which more than two elderly women get together to watch male strippers.

"Hey, hon, where's your mother?"
"Off playing bridge with the gals, I guess."
"Ah, Christ, not another crumpet party!"

by userbits March 7, 2010

crumpler

A technical term used in the toilet paper industry to describe a person who crumples the toilet paper into a ball before cleansing themselves. Opposite of a folder.

Man 1: How do you wipe your ass?
Man 2: Oh, I'm a crumpler.

by thecrumpler July 2, 2006

paradox-absorbing crumple zones

What Robot Santa's head was built with in Futurama

Leela: Consider this. You destroy those you deem to be naughty, but many of those you destroy are, in fact, nice. Therefore, you are naughty and must destroy yourself.

Robot Santa: Nice try, but my head was built with paradox-absorbing crumple zones.

by Bob882 December 20, 2004

Tooth Tarnishing Crumpet Cruncher

A racist term against the English.

See also:
Crumpet Cruncher
Tooth Tarnishing Twat

those damn tooth tarnishing crumpet crunchers are stealing our land again

by The Insult Man May 19, 2021

crumpetsnatch

A dry vagina.

"Yeah, boi, bet your girl got a crumpetsnatch."

by quirkycrumpetsnatcher March 9, 2017

Bloody Crumpet

1. The rest of the members of the asylum. Emilie Autumn and the Bloody Crumpets.

2. A strumpet or slut.

3. A Cuss word.

1.) Emilie Autumn and the Bloody Crumpets are my favorite band ever.

2.) Oh my, look at that little bloody crumpet! Her skirt is so short!

3.) Oh bloody crumpets! I just dropped my phone in the gutter!

by Tria O'Three February 22, 2010