often omitted in elementary and
high school science courses because of its controversial origins, toolidity is a
unit of measurement that, through the systematic application of a toolometer, accurately reflects to what degree a particular human being is a tool. Measured in degrees of T (°T), most individuals inherit a relatively
safe and healthy range of toolidity – anywhere between 0-10°T. It is impossible to register less than 0 °T. While it is very common for people, especially teenagers, to vacillate drastically on the toolidity scale, only when one consistently has a toolidity of 37.8°T should he or she be considered to “live in a
toolbox.” On such
rare occasions, tools should seek counsel with qualified toolologists. The most impressive example of toolidity on record is 120.
42°T, but toolologists have postulated that there is, indeed, no end to the level of toolidity.
"
Father,
Father," cried
Jonny, "my lab partner from Biology class, Tom, told me about this cool new thing called a Snuggie...can I get one?" Satirically, the father replied, "God, no! Have you any idea the effect that would have on this household's toolidity?"