Toolidity

often omitted in elementary and high school science courses because of its controversial origins, toolidity is a unit of measurement that, through the systematic application of a toolometer, accurately reflects to what degree a particular human being is a tool. Measured in degrees of T (°T), most individuals inherit a relatively safe and healthy range of toolidity – anywhere between 0-10°T. It is impossible to register less than 0 °T. While it is very common for people, especially teenagers, to vacillate drastically on the toolidity scale, only when one consistently has a toolidity of 37.8°T should he or she be considered to “live in a toolbox.” On such rare occasions, tools should seek counsel with qualified toolologists. The most impressive example of toolidity on record is 120.42°T, but toolologists have postulated that there is, indeed, no end to the level of toolidity.

"Father, Father," cried Jonny, "my lab partner from Biology class, Tom, told me about this cool new thing called a Snuggie...can I get one?" Satirically, the father replied, "God, no! Have you any idea the effect that would have on this household's toolidity?"

by Doc Mullady March 30, 2009

toolocity

The degree to which an individual is being a tool. Measured in a logarithmic scale .

Matt offered to rewrap Megan's taco, thereby increasing his toolocity five-fold.

by Cooper December 2, 2004

coolidity

its what someone has if theyre cool
see: cool coolio

Rob: "Is Andy a cool guy?"
You: "No, he doesn't have enough coolidity."

by Frances Wood, Lover Of Dave Grohl May 24, 2004

coolidity quotient

The measurement of a person's coolness. A quantifiable essence of hipness that can be factored and attributed to a subject person.

Howard Stern has a high "coolidity quotient", while Don Imus has a relatively low one by comparison.

by Obama Yo Mama August 29, 2006