conmputer

What you call yout desktop or laptop when it is seriously fucking up.Usually used by someone in a furious state.The furious state of mind causes the computer user to verbally mispronounce and mistakingly type the word "computer" incorrectly.Typing in this condition will often cause the user to insert an extra "n" in "computer" due to it's proximity on the keyboard.Also used as a derogatory term for the computer.

"Yesterday my computer crashed,but now it's working again.But pages are loading so SLOW! AAaarrggghh!
What is wrong with this freaking conmputer??!!!"

"Instead of grabbing some drinks with my BFFs after class,I stayed in and wasted several hours of my life on the conmputer!"

conmputer by Mr. Barryworth September 14, 2009

Computer Whiz 

A computer whiz is a person who is an expert with technology, and can often blow some people's minds with their capabilities.

John is such a computer whiz that he even outsmarted me with this windows thing!

Computer Whiz by Bigdirtyjoe May 24, 2019

School Computer 

Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself

Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.

School Computer by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018

old computer 

slow

when your friends are slow asf
unable to function

takes forever to catch on

Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer

old computer by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018

computer dick 

Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.

Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"

computer dick by Rockabee September 10, 2014

computard 

One who lacks proficiency and competence within the field of computers to the extent at which he or she is an annoyance to others. A computard is prone to asking inane questions requiring one to break an explanation down to mere two word steps consiting of one verb and one noun (i.e. move mouse, click icon, etc).

Dude, this one computard once asked me how to extract a zip file and I was like "Dude download WinRAR" and he was like "how do I download" and I was like "WTF dude".

computard by Vishal Agarwala July 6, 2004

commuter dan

an extremely deep yet sarcastic, cynical, and intelligent person who likes to untag himself on facebook. often causes laughter and has facebook profile pictures that are literary allusions.

did you read commuter dan's article? it was so deep and he got a 19/20!

commuter dan by residential emily & lena July 8, 2009