expert

(1.)Someone Who thinks they knew how to do something but actually just screwed everything up. (2.)Someone who goes into a serious explanation of doing something fairly simple or unimportant like how to drive a bumper car. (3.) When something just doesn't work how you want it to. (4.) an Idiot...Nub
for 1st def:

Person: Man I really need to fix my computer.

Expert: No problem I'll help.

Person: You freakin EXPERT! You just erased my hard drive.

2nd def:
*In line to ride the bumper cars*

Expert: Now son you need to get a little distance so you can pick up speed then you want to hit them in the side.....ect.

*also in line behind expert watching him talk to his son*

Person: Expert bumper cars! Dang leave the kid alone.

3rd def:

*trying to call a friend and your cell phone says the network is busy* after the third time....

Person: expert network busy..Dang!
or when friend answers you can call him expert network busy!
by Ronnie Hill May 02, 2006
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expert

Ex (a former) spurt (a drip under pressure)
adam "don't worry eve I'm an expert"
eve "lol what; ex, a former spurt; a drip under pressure
by jahooley April 02, 2009
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expert

Someone with a blog or a dude with an opinion.
Daily Kos, some dude on the street, the old guy next to you at your cousin's wedding, the guest "expert" on whatever talk radio show you're listening to.
by B.Dizzle April 26, 2007
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expert

/x, spurt/
"X" in math is an unknown and in plumbing "spurt" is a drip under pressure.
I am not an expert, why would I want to be an "unknown drip under pressure"!
by francme March 29, 2020
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experticity

A word used by non-experts to make themselves sound like an expert. Has more syllables than the word expertise, thus the speaker attempts to sound more intelligent, but usually fails.
Eddie: "Are you finished yet dude? I have important things to do like watch mold grow."
Brandon: "I am trying to share my experticity with you, now that you are a single guy"
Eddie: "I don't get paid enough to have to hear this, go down the hall and share it with Ray."
by dave_the_thinker December 28, 2017
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the expert

a person who knows everything about everything; kent kovalsky
"dude i don't like Dell computers. but i honestly think that enterprise Linux is one important component to a successful UNIX Migration"
"no its not"
"how would you know? do you think you're kent or something?"
by i know the expert April 21, 2005
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Expert

A person who learns more and more about less and less until they know everything about very little—at which point, and in every context—they begin to give opinions and tell everyone what they should or should not do. —D.Mar
A progressive liberal believes they are an expert in managing every aspect of your life to your personal and professional detriment.
by Electric Ave April 07, 2020
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