commiserbate 

A practice, often enacted by single people together on Valentine's Day, of masturbating while commiserating over the lack of romantic or sexual prospects.

Invite her over to commiserbate about the lack of a romantic valentine.

commiserbate by Olivia Wheeler February 14, 2010

commiserate 

To pity

commiserate by Larstait November 7, 2003

commiserate 

Constantly bitching about one’s circumstances, hoping to one up the other in how miserable one can be.

Typically comes from losers with little to no personality.

Guy 1: God my life sucks so hard, I wish things would go back to the way they were…

Guy 2: Yeah well my mom got cancer and all I ever do now these days is drink until I’m in a stupor and do drugs… my life sucks.

Guy 3: You two faggots commiserate and whine every day on this forum instead of doing anything useful.

commiserate by Anon326 January 22, 2023

Commiserbrate 

To mark an occasion that is worthy of celebrating yet also feels like you are due commiserations. Birthdays that make you far older than you want to be, or to mark the end of a relationshit sad that it's over, but glad that you're single.

We should really go out & commiserbrate your birthday. Forty or not we should still celebrate.

Commiserbrate by jojodio February 8, 2010

commiserate 

Offering unsolicited advice.

I commiserate for several iterations of back and forth, then someone actually identifies what they are stuck on and I can often quickly offer a suggestion/fix.

commiserate by msplainer June 30, 2022

commisermate 

Two or more people that get together to express or feel sympathy or pity for others; mass sympathizers.

"the commisermates got together to express their sorrow over Rose's unfortunate circumstances"

commisermate by Derek Ness September 1, 2019

commiserate 

Constantly bitching about one’s circumstances, hoping to one up the other in how miserable one can be.

Typically comes from losers with little to no personality.

Guy 1: God my life sucks so hard, I wish things would go back to the way they were…

Guy 2: Yeah well my mom got cancer and all I ever do now these days is drink until I’m in a stupor and do drugs… my life sucks.

Guy 3: You two faggots commiserate and whine every day on this forum instead of doing anything useful.

commiserate by Anon326 January 22, 2023