Gets puss and is a decent teacher. Alright coach but lives with his parents and still fucks bitches and gets money has a dope dog that might have diabetes but who cares. He especially hates cheaters (Putnam).
A Clauser is a person who believes in the power of Claus-The-Man-Of-God. Most of the Clausers live in Clausania, the land of extreme randomness. To become a Clauser, you have to first become a citizen of Clausania, which is extremely hard. Once you become a citizen, you have to spend 1 year living under the Clausanian bridges. Next, you have to pass a lot of Buzzfeed quizzes about random knowledge. Next, you have to be shot by Claus. If you survive, then there is a possibility of you becoming a Clauser. If you are a Clauser, your monthly salary is going to increase by 90% in Clausania.