Person A: Teacher can i go to the bathroom?
Teacher: I dont know, can you?! 1?1!1!?11!!1
*Person A is annoyed as fuck*
Person A: Fuck you stupid fucktard teacher. Suck my balls and lick my ass!
A phrase heard in the Pink Floyd song, "Another Brick in the Wall". Extremely funny.
Son: "Mom, can I have some pudding?"
Mom: "You haven't eaten your meat yet."
Son: "But mom!"
Mom: "Son, you know that: 'If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
Son: "Don't be quoting Pink Floyd on me again..."
When a girl wants you in her bed, but she doesn't playMinecraft, tell her this.
(me) Bitch I'm tryna start a minecraft server you in or nah?
(Jessica) Make me your bitch ;)
(me) Listen Jessica, if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft.
A play on “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”, with a little more specificity. Fruitcake is heavy and dense (stupid). Tiramisu is decadent, but light and perky (has it all).
He said I was being dramatic and irrational, so I told him, ‘if you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu!’