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If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

A phrase heard in the Pink Floyd song, "Another Brick in the Wall". Extremely funny.
Son: "Mom, can I have some pudding?"
Mom: "You haven't eaten your meat yet."
Son: "But mom!"
Mom: "Son, you know that: 'If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
Son: "Don't be quoting Pink Floyd on me again..."

if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft

When a girl wants you in her bed, but she doesn't play Minecraft, tell her this.
(me) Bitch I'm tryna start a minecraft server you in or nah?
(Jessica) Make me your bitch ;)
(me) Listen Jessica, if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft.

If you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu

A play on “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”, with a little more specificity. Fruitcake is heavy and dense (stupid). Tiramisu is decadent, but light and perky (has it all).
He said I was being dramatic and irrational, so I told him, ‘if you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu!’

I Don't Know, Can You

A simple phrase, but usually uttered by trash human beings. Usually it is a sarcastic response after someone says "Can I ....... (Enter More Sentence Here)?" If someone says this near you, you may want to exclude them from your friend list.
Person 1: "Can I get a drink of water?"
Person 2: "I don't know, CAN YOU?"

i can't believe you searched this! don't you have anything better to do?? anyway, this is something people type when they are super bored (and/or super dumb) and want to see what happens when they type exactly what is already in the search bar. 

This is the definition of Type any word... this indicates that if you somehow found this definition for a definition that, you are indeed insane.
I can't believe you searched this! Don't you have anything better to do?? Anyway, this is something people type when they are super bored (And/or super dumb) and want to see what happens when they type exactly what is already in the search bar. is the def

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time. 

A "hip" expression of the 1960's-70's that advises you not to do something risky unless you are willing and able to accept the full weight of the consequences.

Ironically popularized by the theme song to the TV show "Baretta" starring Robert Blake.
Fred: "I'm losing my license for drunk driving..."

Charlie: "Quit complaining! You know what they tell you: 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time!'"