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Cost per Nut (CPN)
Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
Cost per Nut (CPN) by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
cost of the muse
Poets are more likely to die young that any other type of writer. From Kaufman (2003). Received a lot of publicity in media in April, May, 2004. Also associated with the Sylvia Plath Effect.
cost of the muse by pandora June 14, 2004
cost an arm and a leg
cost an arm and a leg by Hamido September 21, 2007
cost of doing business
used to refer to something painful/dangerous/regrettable/otherwise negative associated with doing something you have voluntarily chosen to do and therefore implicitly accept the possible risk of.
>John: "Sorry if that round of tequila shots I ordered at the end of the night pushed you over the edge."
>Humberto: "Haha, no biggie. Cost of doing business with you man."
In this case, "doing business" refers to hanging out with John. the "cost" is the risk of getting too drunk because John likes to order tequila shots. Humberto is saying that by voluntarily hanging out with John last night, he implicitly accepted the risk of having a tequila shot served to him that may not have been a good idea but that he, in his intoxicated state, may consume anyways.
>Humberto: "Haha, no biggie. Cost of doing business with you man."
In this case, "doing business" refers to hanging out with John. the "cost" is the risk of getting too drunk because John likes to order tequila shots. Humberto is saying that by voluntarily hanging out with John last night, he implicitly accepted the risk of having a tequila shot served to him that may not have been a good idea but that he, in his intoxicated state, may consume anyways.
cost of doing business by reezydos July 13, 2014
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trucker's tan
A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
trucker's tan by population361 May 30, 2006
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Boffin
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Pee Calculus
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
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