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Bum wank

kristen didn't want full anal so offered a bum wank instead
by watermelonclitlicker May 31, 2010
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bum wank

To wipe your arse crack over your victims nose in a forward and back motion. Thus leaving a shitty smell in their nose.
Eric was so annoying that Dave gave him a bum wank.
by Afcb stu October 7, 2006
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Fingery Bum Wank

When a male person vigorously inserts and retracts his forefinger from his own anus, whilst with his other hand; angrily masturbates to an explosive climax.
Note - is not an exclusively solo act - one could improvise and perhaps masturbate himself while his housemaid or sister assisted with the fingering portion.
1) ...gentleman one to gentleman two "I say, I spiced up my evening tug last night, and fiddled the badge with my forefinger. I believe my son calls it a fingery bum wank".

2) ...young stud remarks "Jesus I had a shocker last night..I convinced this chick to help me out with a fingery bum wank and ended up shitting all over her hand and wrist"..... young studs friend "...nightmare, but respect!"
by The F P February 22, 2011
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Chokey pokey bum wank

Self masterbation (usually male) performed simultaniously whilst inserting a finger into the anus and asphixiating ones self, but not beyond the point of passing out. Only enough to reduce the amount of blood flow to the brain so that it is directed towards the penis for a more intense wank.
Tying a belt or a tie to a hook or bar and then putting it around your neck , lean into it to reduce circulation to the head, shove a finger up your butt and away you go, thats having a chokey pokey bum wank!
by swordy January 17, 2013
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pokey bum wank

To furiously prod ones self in the anus with one finger whilst masturbationg visciously at the same time
Son, why does your duvet smell of poo and sex wee? have you been having one of your pokey bum wanks again?
by Dave September 16, 2003
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Finger bum wank

This phrase can be used to put emphasis on how giddy a friend, colleague or a familiar is.

It is usually used when said people have a sense of achievement or acquired something cheaper.

It can also refer to masturbating your anus with one of your fingers because you're too ugly to get laid.
Man 1: " I got a 2 for 1 deal on these sandwiches!"

Man 2: *makes masturbation gesture* "Finger bum wank sandwich deal!!! You're really saving those pennies!"

Or

Man 1: "Hey I got her number!"

Man 2: "Finger bum wank! She's only the village bike Mr sloppy seconds!"
by FessSquad June 1, 2022
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smokey chokey bum wank

also known as the mike R.A.E. special. it is exactly what it says on the tin. u will need a friend for this one. smoke a tabby, get your friend to choke you, poke your ass and toss yourself off. if you have no mates you could choke yourself with a rope.
sergeant man tits gave me the best smokey chokey bum wank of my life. he is so strong but his hands were so soft
by ring sting king August 1, 2009
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