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ASSortment

Refers to the variety of female posterior-types that a majority of horny studs like to have access to... small tight firm round derrieres for spanking and lap-sitting, large floppy jiggly heinies for deeper more satisfying kneading and squeezing, flatter and more massageable buns for simple rubbing and caressing, and so on.
Some dudes choose to stick with one type of butt-cheeks for all of their squeezing/spanking/humping needs, but as for me, I prefer more of an ASSortment.
by QuacksO September 21, 2017
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Dirty Assortment

Making a desperate snack run to the fridge and grabbing a random selection of food items that do not go together at all.
"Just got myself cake, salmon and ice cream. Its a dirty assortment"
by Boxjellyfish May 9, 2017
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What an interesting assortment of characters dining in unison

1. When a completely random set of people find themselves hanging out together and a third party decides to comment on their unusual outing

2. Any circumstance involving a random group of people who have absolutely nothing to do with each other
1. “Becky! Did you see them having dinner the other day?”

“Yes! What an interesting assortment of characters dining in unison”

2. “A random assortment of characters dining in unison just texted me !!!!!” (Completely open to any sort of interpretation)
by JennyBea November 19, 2019
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Asstrument

Noun:

A musical instrument designed for rectal use.
1. Larry was born to be an asstrument player; his cheeks were rosy red and-a-ready for a rippin'.

2. Worn out after a long day of spouting shit, the asstrument section of the ASS(Alabama Syndicate Symphony) celebrated their hard work with enemas all around.
by Le Pétomane September 9, 2012
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assortaint

Double meaning:

1. Past-tense KY podunk version of ascertained - Determined, discovered with certainty.

2. Noun - Anal or genital region of the male anatomy.
1. He assortaint that yer a dick.
2. Is that assortaint? I can't tell, but it smells like shit either way.
by Lydia McMullin November 3, 2006
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Abortment

Abortment is the next level for disappointment for children and adults of all ages, it’s when your family wishes they would have aborted your ass
Savanah and Stacy are examples of abortments. There parents should have aborted them, since they are huge disappointments
by Stuce and Sav February 24, 2019
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Assortments

A term created by my mom to describe the crazy weirdos and mental people that you see on downtown city streets. You will find assortments in every major city. Although, Philadelphia seems to have a lot of them. The assortments like to congregate near main city streets, tourist areas, convention centers and public transportation stations.

Sometimes, the assortments will ask you for money. Other times, they walk down the streets arguing or muttering something to themselves. They are completely mental so it's best to avoid them and not give them anything.
My mom would tell me to be careful downtown and to watch out for the assortments on Market Street.
by addhead14 November 12, 2011
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