assortaint 

Double meaning:

1. Past-tense KY podunk version of ascertained - Determined, discovered with certainty.

2. Noun - Anal or genital region of the male anatomy.

1. He assortaint that yer a dick.
2. Is that assortaint? I can't tell, but it smells like shit either way.

assortaint by Lydia McMullin November 3, 2006

Assertained 

Someone who was delayed because they were busy sitting on the toilet.

He could not answer the phone because he was temporarily assertained.

Assertained by Tranquillity Base February 8, 2022

assertain 

slang for anal sex--to entertain someone in your ass

"Why don't you bend over and assertain me?"

assertain by JMmm June 9, 2005

assertain 

To make a definite determination regarding someone's posterior.

A tight-fitting swimsuit can indeed show if a gal has a nice cute round rump, but you gotta actually "squeeze theeze" with your hand to assertain for sure if it is indeed as delightful as you'd expect.

assertain by QuacksO February 28, 2019

assertain 

slang for anal intercourse
To entertain someone in your ass

Why don't you bend over and assertain me?

assertain by JMmm June 8, 2005

Assortments

A term created by my mom to describe the crazy weirdos and mental people that you see on downtown city streets. You will find assortments in every major city. Although, Philadelphia seems to have a lot of them. The assortments like to congregate near main city streets, tourist areas, convention centers and public transportation stations.

Sometimes, the assortments will ask you for money. Other times, they walk down the streets arguing or muttering something to themselves. They are completely mental so it's best to avoid them and not give them anything.

My mom would tell me to be careful downtown and to watch out for the assortments on Market Street.

Assortments by addhead14 November 12, 2011

ASSortment 

Refers to the variety of female posterior-types that a majority of horny studs like to have access to... small tight firm round derrieres for spanking and lap-sitting, large floppy jiggly heinies for deeper more satisfying kneading and squeezing, flatter and more massageable buns for simple rubbing and caressing, and so on.

Some dudes choose to stick with one type of butt-cheeks for all of their squeezing/spanking/humping needs, but as for me, I prefer more of an ASSortment.

ASSortment by QuacksO September 21, 2017